


reflections still look the same to me (as before I went under)

by bearpantaloons



Category: Supergirl (TV 2015)
Genre: But it's okay, F/F, Grim Reapers, Inspired by Dead Like Me, technically Lena is dead
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-03-01
Updated: 2019-03-27
Packaged: 2019-11-07 15:03:27
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 5
Words: 29,178
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/17962814
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/bearpantaloons/pseuds/bearpantaloons
Summary: This was horseshit. Complete and utter horseshit. One minute, she was walking down the street, minding her own business, and the next, flattened like a pancake after some scaffolding decided to come loose and fall on top of her. Figures that’s the way Lena Luthor would be taken out, not in a blaze of glory or being a hero, but just by walking down the goddamn street and having some random freak accident happen to her. Plenty of people went to her funeral, but she didn’t know most of them – many were family friends whom she’d never met before, or people that her parents paid to be there.OR,Lena is a grim reaper who doesn't remember much of her past, but when she meets Kara, she starts to remember her life when she was alive, and that Kara was a big part of it.Dead Like Me AU





	1. Chapter 1

This was horseshit. Complete and utter horseshit. One minute, she was walking down the street, minding her own business, and the next, flattened like a pancake after some scaffolding decided to come loose and fall on top of her. Figures that’s the way Lena Luthor would be taken out, not in a blaze of glory or being a hero, but just by walking down the goddamn street and having some random freak accident happen to her. Plenty of people went to her funeral, but she didn’t know most of them – many were family friends whom she’d never met before, or people that her parents paid to be there.

In any case, Lena was dead now and the only people who actually cared were wiped from her memory in an attempt to forget her life, which wasn’t all that spectacular to begin with. Get adopted by rich family, become the rich family’s disappointment, rebel against practically every familial obligation that was being thrust upon her, have no friends, no relationships. The memory wipe was a no-brainer; she didn’t have much to care about, so forgetting was simple. Death was easy.

Lena knew about death all too well. Being a reaper, literally holding people’s lives in her hands, death was her only constant. She held a crumpled yellow post-it in her hand with a name, a location, and a time on it and sighed.

“Hey Luthor, you’re gonna miss it,” Sam yelled from the balcony door.

New Year’s Eve. Lena hated New Year’s Eve. It was just another excuse for people to get drunk, find some random nobody to have sex with and then promptly forget about the next morning, and also a way to air out all of your dirty laundry and secrets, because it was a ‘new year, new me.’ What a load of bull. When she was still alive, Lena was a bit of a loner-not necessarily by choice, but she would tell you she liked it better that way. Now, even in death, she didn’t keep many friends close, but Sam stuck around for some reason.

She sighed and walked back inside, watching all of the party goers blow into their incredibly annoying noisemakers, popping their confetti poppers and making a mess, guzzling more alcohol, and kissing their partners or random strangers. The giant disco ball on a stick lowered itself as the bright countdown made its way down to zero. Sam stood next to her and smiled, handing her a glass and putting an arm around her to try to get her to lighten up.

5…

Lena scanned the room to look for her next target. The time on the post-it said two minutes after midnight.

4…

Men and women talked loudly and Lena couldn’t hear a thing. No one was glowing and she didn’t see any of the little gravelings that usually hang around when there’s a death coming.

3…

A man bumped into her, nearly causing her to spill her drink and she turned around and glared at him. He ignored her and continued walking toward his date, draping an arm around a blonde woman wearing glasses, a light blue button-up, and chinos.

2…

The man had a faint gray glow around him. He was the target. Sam had already left when she saw her target and was stalking him around the apartment.

1…

Lena slid her way through the crowd around the television and tried to walk up to the man who bumped into her, but she got cut off by a very belligerent drunk, who asked her if she was there with anyone.

“No, I’m not. Excuse me.”

“Oh, come on, honey. It’s New Year’s. You gotta kiss someone on New Year’s.”

“No, thank you,” Lena said, pushing the gangly man off to the side until she was faced with the woman in glasses.

“Happy New Year!” the room erupted and Lena just stared into two swirls of ocean blue eyes, which stared right back at her.

“Hey, babe, happy New Year,” the target said as he kissed the woman on the lips, and handing her one of his champagne flutes. He turned to face Lena, who was staring at the two of them. “Who’s your friend? Sorry, I only had two hands,” he said, shrugging.

“Oh, I’m not exactly sure. We didn’t get to the introductions yet. I’m Kara and this is my boyfriend, Mike,” the woman said, putting an arm on the man’s chest. Lena pressed her lips together and painstakingly forced them to curve up into a smile, knowing that this man had exactly one minute and twenty seconds to live.

“It’s nice to meet you, I’m Le—um, I’m Lillian,” she replied, using her reaper name. She held her hand out for Mike to shake first. When he offered his hand to shake, Lena placed both hands around his and set the reap in motion. She then switched her attention back to Kara and shook her hand. It’s odd, Lena can’t seem to take her eyes off of Kara. In all of the years she had been dead, she never had relations with anyone – alive or dead. It wasn’t necessarily against the rules, but it was frowned upon to fraternize with the living. Just imagine, a grim reaper falling for a live person. Lena always thought it was absurd and foolish. Romance had no place in reaping. But this woman, _Kara_. Her smile lit up the room and if Lena’s heart still beat, it would likely be beating right out of her chest.

Mike began choking on his champagne and Lena took a few steps back while the other guests attended to him. Kara looked absolutely shocked and panicked and there was nothing that Lena could do, so she walked away. She met up with Sam, who gave her a thumbs up, indicating that she also completed her reap. A man followed her closely and waved nervously.

“This is Winn. He just died.”

“My condolences,” Lena said with a nod.

“Thanks. Never thought I would die from something cool like electrocution.” Before they could continue with their pleasantries, Mike walked up to them.

“What’s going on? What happened?”

“You’re dead,” Lena said simply. “You have two choices: either train to become a reaper like us, or continue on to the afterlife and get judged.”

Winn gulped and looked between the two women. “Uh, I would like to become a reaper. I don’t think putting my afterlife in the hands of strangers is on the up and up.”

Mike scoffs. “You mean kill people for a living? Sounds lame. I’ll take my chances with the judgement.” The floor opened below him and he fell through the abyss, leaving the other three to themselves.

“All right, let’s head back to the diner,” Sam said, heading toward the door. Lena and Winn followed her, but Lena stopped and took one more look at Kara, who was kneeling on the floor next to Mike’s dead body, sobbing uncontrollably. She didn’t normally sympathize with the people left behind, but something kept pulling her toward Kara.

“You coming?” Sam said from the other side of the door. Lena turned her head and nodded, walking out of the apartment and down the hallway toward the elevator. They climbed into Sam’s car that was parked right in front of the building and drove to a twenty-four hour diner deep in the city to have their nightly meeting. When they got there, their boss J’onn was already sitting in a booth with two other reapers.

“Tonight was a success,” Sam announced while sliding down the bench. “We even got a recruit. This is Winn.” Lena slid in next to her and Winn stood at the end of the table.

“Welcome, Winn. I’m J’onn and these two are James and Lucy. Have a seat and we’ll go through your training.” Winn pulled up a chair and sat at the head of the table. “First thing’s first. In order to become a reaper, you must completely lose your old identity. You are no longer Winn Schott Jr. to the living. You’ll come up with an alias and use that in your day-to-day life. Got it?”

Winn nodded. “Can I be Kirk? Like Captain Kirk? Not a red shirt.”

“You can be whomever you want. Next, you will look nothing like yourself to anyone living and that’s to protect both you and those alive from recognizing your old self. Things get muddy if someone alive recognizes you, because if you’re dead and you show up at their doorstep, there are going to be issues. Take a look at yourself.” J’onn pulled out a compact mirror and Winn looked into it.

“Dear god, I’m hideous!”

J’onn chuckled. “You’ll get one assignment a day. I hand out these post-it notes with the person’s name, the time of death, and the location. As you saw earlier, you give them a choice to either become a reaper, or be judged in the afterlife. It’s their decision.”

Lena flagged down the waitress to order a coffee and some pancakes, while Sam ordered the same thing.

“Now, my rules are simple,” J’onn continued. “You are prohibited from contacting anyone you knew in your previous life. That means no girlfriends, no boyfriends, no parents, no siblings, no friends. If you happen to meet one randomly on the street, you walk in the other direction. We can wipe your memory you think that’s going to be an issue for you.”

“I-I think I’m good,” Winn stammered.

“Good. Also, you have to make an honest wage. No freeloaders, which means you will need to look for a job, so you can blend in with the living world. Lena and Sam here work at CatCo, while James and Lucy work at Luthor-Corp, as pencil pushers. So, you see, you can work anywhere just as long as you work _somewhere_.”

Lena and Sam ate their pancakes in silence while J’onn continued his instructions with Winn. She couldn’t stop thinking about Kara and it was irritating her. In the two years she’d been doing this, no reap had ever affected her this way. Usually, it just rolled right off of her back. She went in, completed her reap, and walked right back out. No feelings, no guilt, easy.

“Have you ever had any difficult reaps?” she asked Sam.

With her mouth full of pancake, Sam tilted her head and raised an eyebrow. She swallowed it down before speaking. “Well, kids are always tough. And terminally ill patients, even though their life expectancy is cut in half. I don’t know, Lena, you just have to detach yourself. This is a job and we’re just the middlemen.”

Lena nodded somberly. “I just—I can’t get that woman out of my head, Kara. I don’t know what it is about her.”

“Have you met her before?” Sam asked.

“It feels like it, although since my memory wipe, I can’t be too sure of anything anymore.”

Sam shrugged. “Well, it’s not like you’ll ever see her again, so I wouldn’t dwell on it too much.” She glanced at her watch. “Damn it, we should get going. We have work in the morning.”

As they started to leave, J’onn held out post-its for each of them to take. Lena sighed and took hers.

“Twelve thirty, really? That’s my lunchtime,” Lena pouted.

“Mine is at six forty-five, right during rush hour,” Sam whined.

“Hey, at least you two don’t have to go downtown,” James lamented. The others all winced and silently agreed that James won. Everyone left the diner and J’onn offered Winn a place to stay while he got back on his feet. Lena and Sam lived together, since it made their commute easier, and also because they would be able to unwind together and still know what the other was talking about.

“So, you think you like this girl, Lena?” Sam asked as they’re getting ready for bed.

“What? No, nothing like that. I don’t know, it’s hard to explain.”

“But you were into women when you were alive, right?” Sam prodded while combing out her hair.

Lena shrugged. “Yeah, I guess so. You know my brain has been swiss cheese lately.”

“Yeah, yeah, memory wipe. You keep reminding me. Why did you end up doing that, anyway? I thought things were okay.”

Lena rolled her eyes. “I couldn’t tell you.”

Sam snorted. “Right, sorry.”

The both of them got ready for bed and watched a few episodes of trashy television before calling it a night. Lena climbed into bed and tossed and turned for a while, not being able to get Kara’s face out of her head. She couldn’t understand why the woman looked so familiar. Maybe she did know her.

The next day, Sam and Lena drove to work together. Sam worked in the mailroom, while Lena worked in the journalism area of the building. They got coffees together and headed in separate directions. When Lena took the elevator up to her floor, she exited and headed toward her desk. On the way there, she noticed a familiar face and she felt her face turn white. She ducked behind a wall and peeked over the side.

Kara? What the hell is she doing there?

“Hey, Lena,” Winn said behind her and made her jump.

“Winn? What the fuck? Why are you here?”

Winn shrugged. “This is where I work now. Apparently, I’m good with tech, so I got hired to be the new IT guy. Isn’t that cool? Oh, hey, isn’t that Kara from the party?”

“Shh! Yes, it is. I didn’t even know she worked here. You would have thought I’d have noticed,” Lena whispered.

“Why? Because she’s so pretty?” Winn asked.

“No, because I care so much about this job and my coworkers,” Lena deadpanned. She glanced around the corner again and saw Kara talking to one of her coworkers and couldn’t help but notice that Kara looked sad. Sure, her boyfriend _just_ died, but he didn’t seem all that great, anyway. Once Kara’s coworker walked away, Kara went back to her desk and dabbed her eyes with a tissues. Lena felt a tug in her chest and before she knew it, she was walking toward her.

“What are you doing?” Winn called out to her, but she ignored him.

Slowly, Lena approached Kara’s desk and set down her untouched coffee cup on the surface. “Coffee?” she offered.

Kara looked up, eyes rimmed with redness and smiled slightly. “Oh, thank you. Wait, you were at the New Year’s party. Lillian, right? I remember you.”

Lena nodded, regretting ever choosing her mother’s name as her alias. “Yeah, I was there. I just wanted to say I’m sorry about your boyfriend. He seemed… okay.”

Kara laughed. “Actually, he was a complete jerk, but we were together for a long time, so I still feel the loss. I guess it just kind of feels like death is following me around.”

Lena nodded. “Everyone you meet makes some sort of impact on your life, no matter how small. It’s like the butterfly effect.”

Kara’s eyes lit up. “Yeah, exactly! Like, if Mike and I had never been together, would I still be here? Or, if you and I hadn’t met at the party, how would things be different?”

 _Well, Mike would still be alive, for starters_ , Lena thought _._ She suddenly felt out of place and needed to get away.

“I should let you get back to work. I’ll, I’ll see you around, Kara,” Lena said, turning to leave.

“What are you doing for lunch today?” Kara blurted out.

Lena stopped and turned back to face Kara. _Think of an excuse, come up with fake plans. Do_ something. “Uh, no plans.” _Fuck._

“Want to have lunch with me? I could use a change of scenery; everyone around here has the condolence eyes whenever they see me.”

“Sure, that sounds great,” Lena smiled. _Fuck fuck fuck._ She hurried back to the hallway and when she was no longer in Kara’s line of vision, she pressed her back to the wall and started hyperventilating.

“So, how’d it go?” Winn asked out of nowhere, scaring Lena half to death – again.

“Jesus, Winn, don’t do that,” Lena said, clutching her chest. “We’re going to lunch. It’s nothing.”

Winn waggled his eyebrows suggestively at Lena, who promptly slugged him right in the arm. “Ow!”

“You’re dead, Winn, you don’t feel pain. Stop being a baby,” Lena said, peeking around the corner of the wall at Kara once more. She looked happier, typing away at her keyboard. The way she scrunched her nose when she was deep in thought was actually kind of cu—no! Nope. Oh, hey look, donuts. Lena walked over to one of the tables that supplied coffee and pastries, taking a donut and pouring herself a new cup of coffee.

“Craig! Quit slacking off and get back to work,” a voice rang through the hall.

Winn winced. “That's me. I guess I’d better get back. Duty calls.” He snatched the half-eaten donut out of Lena’s hands and sped down the hallway back to his desk, but not fast enough and got smacked in the back of the head by a fountain pen.

Lena also decided to go back to work if only to pass the time before lunch – not that she was looking forward to lunch with Kara, or anything. It was just food. Food with a coworker, whom she just met, while in the process of killing her boyfriend.

When twelve o’ clock, rolled around, Lena practically jumped out of her seat and not-so-casually walked over to Kara’s side of the building and waited for Kara by the elevators, but tried to see when Kara was coming, so she could act like she was just walking up at the same time as her. When she spotted Kara getting up from her desk, she walked back down the hallway a little and timed it just right to run into Kara.

“Oh, hey, perfect timing,” Lena shouted a little too loudly.

Kara smiled. “Perfect timing. Shall we?” She gestured toward the elevators and pushed the ‘down’ button. When the elevator arrived, they walked inside and Lena left a healthy three feet in between them, so there wasn’t even a slight possibility of touching her, but when the elevator stopped at pretty much every other floor, she scooted closer to Kara, not wanting to stay separated. On the ground floor, the elevator dinged and released all of its occupants, everyone shuffling and filing out the doors.

“So, where would you like to go?” Kara asked as she held the door open for Lena and ten other people.

Lena felt the post-it note in her pocket, remembering that she had a reap due in about a half hour. “I know a place that’s not too far.” She and Kara walked to the restaurant and Kara had to stop and pet every single dog they saw on the way there. Lena had never seen so many dogs on this street before. By the time they got to the restaurant, it was twenty minutes past twelve and she only had ten minutes until her reap. They got seated and after they ordered, Lena excused herself to the restroom and sneaked out the back door.

She hurried to the address on the post-it and looked around, searching for her target. It didn’t take her long to find a bearded man surrounded in a gray aura, so she walked up to him.

“Excuse me, you look so familiar. Have we met before?”

The man gave her a strange look. “Um, no, I don’t think so. Although, I wouldn’t be opposed to getting to know you better.”

Lena gave her best fake laugh and playfully pushed the man’s shoulder, signaling to the gravelings that this was the target. “My mistake, I’m actually late for an appointment, so if you’ll excuse me.” As the man was about to continue speaking, a car swerved and hit him, knocking him into a storefront. His spirit popped right up and he looked at his body and then ran after Lena.

“Hey, wait!” The man was chasing after her.

Lena kept walking and paid him no mind. “Seriously, I need to be somewhere. I’ll give you the spiel after I have lunch.”

“You can’t just leave me,” the man whines.

Lena stops walking and turns sharply to face him. “Listen. I am on a lunch date—no, not a date. I am having lunch with a coworker and if you ruin this for me, I will kill you again, do you understand me?”

The man might as well have had hearts in his eyes. He nodded with his mouth wide open and followed Lena back to the restaurant silently. This happened to Lena often. Her reaps got attached and would follow her around like puppies and she _hated_ it. Sam would tease her, because she was the only one it happened to.

 _“That’s what you get for being a smokin’ hot reaper,”_ she told her.

Lena responded by saying that there was a necrophilia joke in there somewhere and did her best to ignore them.

She slipped through the backdoor of the restaurant and looked at her watch. She had been gone for fifteen minutes and chastised herself. “I am so sorry it took me so long. I saw a coworker and she apparently doesn’t know when to shut up,” Lena apologized. Their food had already been set down at the table and Kara’s was untouched.

“It’s okay,” Kara chirped, smiling at Lena and setting her napkin on her lap before picking up her fork. They began eating and Lena tried to ignore the newly-deceased man standing at the window and staring at her.

“Will you excuse me for a moment?” Lena asked. She stepped outside and handed the man a card and told him to go wait at the diner until someone named J’onn got there. She walked back into the restaurant and apologized.

“So, how is it that I’ve never seen you at CatCo? Did you just start there recently?” Kara asked.

“Not really, I’ve been there for a couple years, but I guess I’ve never had a reason to venture out past my side of the building.”

“Until you met me?” Kara asked slyly.

Lena cleared her throat. “Um, yes, and also my… friend, Kirk just started working there. He’s one of the IT guys.”

“Oh, cool! So, I know who to call on when my computer’s on the fritz,” Kara laughed. _God_ , why were Kara’s teeth so perfect? And could she tone down the adorable facial expressions and hand waving when she spoke? Honestly. How did she expect Lena to concentrate on her meal when she looked at her like that? The audacity.

“So, tell me about yourself,” Kara prodded, taking a bite out of her BLT.

Lena shrugged. “What do you want to know?”

“Everything!” Kara yelled, throwing her hands in the air. “Um, tell me about your family.”

Lena had to think about it for a minute. She could either tell Kara about her actual family, or tell her about her fake made-up family that she talked about when anyone asked. “Well, I was adopted by my parents when I was four and I have a brother, but we’re all kind of estranged. I haven’t spoken with any of them in a quite some time.”

Kara gave her a sympathetic look. “I’m sorry.”

Lena shook her head. “No, it’s fine. It’s for the best, really. They were kind of toxic. Anyway, how about you?”

Kara grinned. “Actually, I was adopted, too. It’s just my mom and my sister, but we’re very close. Mom lives in Midvale and my sister Alex lives here in the city.”

They continued talking about their families and childhoods when Lena looked at her watch and realized they were late getting back to work. She got the attention of the waitress and paid for lunch before pulling Kara back to CatCo.

“Shit, I can’t lose this job,” Lena said, walking down the street quickly.

“Whoa, slow down, Lena. I can talk to your boss if you want. We can blame this on me.”

Kara didn’t understand. Lena _needed_ this job. If she didn’t have it, she wouldn’t be able to be around Kara anymore, which wasn’t the point at all. She didn’t care. Why would she care? She just didn’t want to have to go through the arduous task of job hunting. That was the worst. It had absolutely nothing to do with Kara.

At all.

When they got back to CatCo, they rode in the elevator without saying a word and Lena quickly exited and went back to her desk, leaving Kara behind in her wake. Turned out, no one really cared if Lena was late or not. It was almost like nobody even noticed she was gone.

By the end of the day, Lena had successfully completed her work and was on her way to the elevator when she was intercepted by a familiar blonde.

“Hey! Fancy meeting you here,” she said enthusiastically. She was so _strange_. Was she waiting for her at the elevator? Who did that? Someone desperate for companionship, obviously. Lena would never. “I was wondering if you wanted to grab some dinner, continue our conversation from lunch.”

“Oh, uh,” Lena stammered. _Think of an excuse, come up with fake plans. Do_ something. “Yeah, sure.” _Fuck!_ She really needed to work on that.

Kara’s smile formed across her entire face as she pushed the elevator call button. She continued staring at Lena and it made her uncomfortable, so she did what anyone would do and pretended she didn’t notice her. Once the elevator doors opened, she hurried inside and kept that healthy three feet of space between them.

As they exited the elevator and headed toward the doors, Kara looked up at Lena. “So, what would you like to eat? I know a great Chinese place nearby or there’s always pizza.”

What was it with people and their awful taste in food? Lena plastered her best fake smile on her face and shrugged. “Anything is fine with me.”

Kara beamed and took Lena by the wrist, dragging her down the street until they got to a smallish restaurant. “This place is great. If you like pizza and Indian food, they make curry pizzas and they’re _amazing_.” Lena wrinkled her nose, but allowed herself to be taken inside.” Kara chose a booth off to the side to sit in and told Lena she’d go up and order. Normally, Lena hated it when people ordered for her, but Kara was so insistent that she allowed it.

When Kara sat back down, she had two cups in her hands. “Can I get you a drink?”

“I don’t suppose they serve wine,” Lena said dryly.

Kara looked over her shoulder at the menu on the wall. “Um, no, I don’t think so. I can see if they have beer.” Lena declined and took one of the cups out of Kara’s hand and walked over to the soda dispenser and filled her cup with water. She preferred bottled or filtered water, but she didn’t want Kara to feel bad.

When she sat back down with her water, Kara stared at the clear liquid and frowned. She got up to get her own drink, which was a mixture of all the sodas, except for diet. Lena raised her eyebrow and made a disgusted face when Kara took a big sip.

“Want to try it?” Kara asked, offering her cup.

“Not a chance.” She wrinkled her nose in disgust while Kara continued drinking her ass juice. When the pizza came, Lena hesitantly took a slice and Kara excitedly took her own, shoving it into her mouth and then immediately regretting sticking a hot pizza down her throat.

Kara was a very curious person and Lena usually hated getting interrogated by new people, but she allowed Kara to ask her about herself, her job, her home life, and Lena had to come up with elaborate lies for every question.

“You remind me of someone,” Kara said thoughtfully.

“Oh?” Lena replied.

“Yeah, a friend of mine. She, she died a couple years ago.”

Lena’s eyes widened. “Oh, I’m sorry.” Lena didn’t do sympathy. In fact, she wasn’t sure she even knew how to comfort someone should the need arise. “Can I ask what happened?”

Kara smiled in remembrance. “Freak accident. Like, one in a million chances of it happening and of course it happened to her. She always had to be the first one to do everything, always had to win, so she raced us all to death and got there first.”

Lena shifted in her seat uncomfortably. Kara was being very candid and it made her feel strange. She used the straw in her cup to mix the water and ice, swirling it around. Her eyes shifted up to look at Kara, who was looking down at her uneaten slice of pizza. Against her better judgement, Lena broke the silence and asked Kara more questions, because, apparently, that’s what some people do to grieve.

“What was her name?”

“Lena. Lena Luthor.”

Holy fuck. This was not good. Not good at all. If the word “fucked” was in the dictionary, Lena’s photo would be the first thing you’d see. Kara must have picked up on Lena’s internal freak out, so she reached over and touched her hand.

“Is everything okay? You look like you’ve seen a ghost.”

She _is_ a fucking ghost.

“Oh, no, it’s nothing. I just didn’t realize Lena Luthor… had friends?” Nice one. What an idiot.

Kara laughed. “Yeah, she was always kind of private and didn’t trust many people, so I guess I was just lucky. She was really amazing once you got to know her – smart, funny, super witty.”

Watching Kara talk about her while she was sitting right in front of her was an odd feeling, like she was eavesdropping on the conversation and that it wasn’t meant for her ears. After a few minutes, Kara looked at her watch and gasped.

“Oh, shoot, I’ve kept us here way too long. It’s so late, I’m sorry.”

Lena didn’t really have any concept of time anymore, other than when she had to meet at the diner and whatever time was on her post-it for the next day. She didn’t know why, but she wanted to spend more time with Kara, but Kara knew her – well, the old her, and that complicated things. Lena didn’t do complicated. It’s why she kept her distance from, well, everyone. Everyone except Kara, that is. She couldn’t even remember why she allowed Kara to chip away at her walls. It couldn’t be because of her infectious optimism or her obsession with food, or the way her face scrunched up when she smiled. Nope. Definitely not.

They stood outside of the pizza parlor for a few minutes, unsure of how to end the night. Kiss on the cheek? No, idiot, it wasn't a date. High five? What, are you ten? Run in the opposite direction? Hug? Yeah, hugs are what colleagues and friends do, right?

“I had a really good time today. We should hang out more,” Kara said, throwing her arms around Lena’s shoulders. Lena froze at the contact and let out a light squeak. The hug felt familiar. When Kara pulled away, she smiled once more and started walking down the street, turning around again to wave at Lena, who waved back dumbly.

What the fuck was happening?


	2. Chapter 2

_“Hey, Lena, do you ever wonder if there’s anyone out there who’s just going to get us? Like, they’ll just fit and we’ll_ know?”

_“What, you mean like a soulmate?”_

_“I don’t know, I guess,” Kara shrugged. “It just seems like I’ve been going through the motions and I’m dating just for sake of dating, but no one is really giving me that all-encompassing feeling being in love—like, fairytale love, you know?”_

_Lena nodded. She and Kara had been dating guys off and on since they met each other, but they were few and far between. In fact, the reason why they met was because both of their dates were going so horribly that they left them at the bar they were at and went to go see a movie together instead. After that night, they became really great friends and hung out whenever they had spare time, which wasn’t often with Lena being the CEO of L-Corp and Kara being a journalist, who had to travel quite a bit, but they made time for each other. It only took Lena about three weeks of hanging out to realize that she was attracted to Kara._

What the fuck? _What the fuck?_ Lena knew Kara? She was supposed to, anyway. J’onn’s rules were that if they ever encountered anyone from their previous life, they were supposed to stay away, but Lena didn’t want to. She’d always been a little rebellious and Kara was fun to be around, if a little annoying.

When she got to the diner that night, she sat in a booth and waited for the others to show up. The man she reaped earlier in the day spotted her and slid into the seat across from her. Lena rolled her eyes and tried to ignore him.

“Hi! Remember me? Name’s Jack Spheer,” he offered his hand. When Lena doesn’t shake his hand, he puts it down. “Tough crowd.”

“Look, I’m not your babysitter. When J’onn comes in, he’ll tell you what to do.”

Jack sat back in the booth and pouted. He checked his reflection in one of the napkin dispensers and screamed.

“What happened to my face?”

Lena rolled her eyes. “You get a new face along with a different identity when you become a reaper. We can’t exactly walk around with our real faces, can we? J’onn will explain everything.”

Jack continued staring at himself and poking at his face. When J’onn and the gang walked into the diner, Lena muttered a _thank god_ under her breath. She and Jack moved to a bigger booth, so all of them could fit. While J’onn was busy giving Jack the rundown, Lena pulled Sam off to the side.

“Have you ever run into someone you knew previously?”

Sam raised an eyebrow. “Like, when I was alive?” Lena nodded. “A couple times, but we’ve never interacted. Why?”

“I think I know Kara.”

Sam barked a laugh and clapped her hands. “The girl from the party? No fucking way. Really?”

Lena shoves Sam’s shoulder. “Be quiet! And yes, really. She said I reminded her of someone and that someone is Lena fucking Luthor.”

“Well, I’ll be damned,” Sam said. “What are you going to do?”

“I don’t know. I want to keep seeing her, you know, so she’ll pay for my meals, but J’onn has his ridiculous rules.”

Sam shrugged. “Well, I’m not going to tell him. Go get your past life pussy.”

“God!” Lena screeched. “Don’t be so crude.”

“Problem, ladies?” J’onn asked with an eyebrow raised.

“No, sir,” Sam replied, elbowing Lena in the ribs jokingly.

When J’onn was done training Jack, they all got their assignment post-its and headed home. Lena flopped onto their sofa and sighed loudly. When did she become such an idiot? She went two years without running into anyone she knew or remembered, but one party – one stupid party – and now she’s back in contact with Kara of all people. She was starting to remember more about her and their friendship, but only basic things, like they went out to lunch a lot, she was pretty much Lena’s only friend when she was alive, and she was absolutely _not_ in love with her.

God damn it.

Sam sat down next to her, handing her a cold beer. “Hey, it could be worse. It could have been an ex-boyfriend, or something.”

“I have to see what I was to her,” Lena said while sipping her beer. She was a glutton for punishment. There’s no way that this could go wrong.

* * *

“So, Lena and I had a strictly sexual relationship for a little while. We started out as friends and then realized that all of the lame people were dating would never be as good as each other, and that was that. It lasted for a couple months until Lena told me she was in love with me and then I had to stop it, because that was the rule we set up beforehand.”

Lena stared at Kara with her mouth wide open. _What the fuck?_ She wasn’t in love with Kara! “I see.”

“Don’t get me wrong, I loved her, too, but we told each other that if either one of us ever developed feelings, we would stop, because… I don’t know, actually. I guess we just wanted to make sure we would always be friends first. In hindsight, it seems like a really stupid rule.”

“And then she died,” Lena said simply.

Kara lowered her head, pushing her glasses up. “Yeah, and then she died. I wish I—I had a lot of things I wanted to say to her.”

Well, damn. Way to ruin the mood. They were talking about being fuck buddies and now Kara looked like she was going to cry. Good job. Lena really was not good with this whole consoling thing. She cleared her throat.

“Uh, yeah, that’s the problem with time. We think we have a lot of it, until we don’t.”

Kara laughs lightly. “Yeah, and considering I’m cursed, I really should start telling people how I feel more often.

“You aren’t cursed,” Lena argued.

“My friend and my boyfriend both died. I’m the common denominator.”

Lena knew that it was a ridiculous notion, that Kara was responsible for those deaths. She knew that they were all randomly selected. Even J’onn didn’t know who would be on the post-its until right before going to the diner. Supposedly. No one really knew where the assignments came from. It was always just this silent acceptance that it came from the powers that be or whatever the fuck they called themselves and it trickled down to them to do all of the hard work.

“You’re not the cause of it, Kara, believe me,” Lena told her. She looked at her watch. It was already time to get back to work. “We should head back.”

Kara still looked upset and dejected, looking down at her hands in her lap. Lena tried to wrack her brain to find something supportive to say.

“Look, you’re incredibly attractive, Kara. You’ll find someone else and you’ll be able to tell them how you feel and they’ll stay alive long enough to hear it.” Nailed it.

Kara looked up and wrinkled her forehead in confusion before bursting into laughter. “You really are like Lena. Thank you.”

Lena felt a strange sense of pride after making Kara laugh and she wanted to keep doing it, for some unknown reason. Definitely not because Kara was beautiful when she smiled, or the sound of her laugh made the butterflies in Lena’s stomach flutter around like sparks of an exploding firework. They walked back to the office side-by-side and Lena dropped Kara off at her office before heading to her side of the building.

“Hey, Lillian?” Kara said, still standing at the elevators.

Lena stopped and turned around to face Kara.

“I, uh, I have this office party to go to this weekend and I usually take Mike, but since he’s, you know, no longer available, I was wondering if you’d come with me.”

Lena arched her eyebrows. “You want _me_ to go with you?”

Kara shrugged and gave a tiny smile. “Yeah, most of them will be there with partners or spouses, and I guess I don’t want to show up alone. If you don’t want to or you’re busy, it’s okay. I know it’s last minute, so yo—“

“I’ll go,” Lena interrupted. It was perfectly normal to go as someone’s plus one after only hanging out with them for two days, right? Yeah, of course that’s normal.

“Oh, okay. Great! I’ll, um, oh here’s my card. It has my cellphone number on it.” Kara pulled a business card out of her purse and handed it to Lena. “Text me later, so I’ll have your number and I’ll give you the details.”

Lena held the card in her hand and nodded, turning around without a word. So what if she just got Kara’s phone number? It’s not like she’s ever going to use it. Definitely not for a potential future booty call. Don’t be ridiculous. She texted Kara with a simple _Hi_ and Kara replied with various smiling emojis and thirteen waving emojis.

Lena rolled her eyes, but stared at the text from Kara until it was time to go home. On her way to the elevator, she was busy staring at Kara’s text for no reason whatsoever when she felt a hard shoulder bumping into her chin.

“Oh, Lena! Did you get my text?” Kara asked.

“What? No, what are you talking about?”

“I sent you a reply when you texted me your number.”

Lena quickly locked her phone and shoved it into her purse. “Oh, that. Yeah, I got it.”

Kara beamed and pushed the button for the elevator. “Okay, so the party is tomorrow night at Luther-Corp in one of their ballrooms - did you know they have ballrooms? I’ve never been. Anyway, I can pick you up at five and we can get dinner somewhere beforehand. What kind of food do you like? I personally like everything, so no worries there.”

Lena didn’t know whether she wanted to punch Kara or kiss her.

“Oh, I’m sorry. I’m rambling. I do that when I’m nervous.”

She wanted to kiss her.

“Maybe we can get pizza again. Hawaiian?”

Nope, she definitely wanted to punch her. What was this with this girl and pizza?

“How about I choose the restaurant and you just come get me at five?” Lena suggested.

“Oh, yeah! Sure, of course. It’s not too fancy, so you don’t need to dress up too much.” They arrived at the ground floor and stopped just outside of the building. Kara looked like she wants to say something else, but was hesitating.

“Do you need a ride home?” Lena asked.

“Hm? Oh, no, thank you. I can catch the bus. It should be coming any minute.”

“Don’t be ridiculous. I can take you home,” Lena said walking in the direction of her car and smirking when she heard Kara shuffling behind her.

“Really, Lillian, you don’t have to. I-I can take the bus!”

They get to Lena’s car and she stood at the driver’s side door. “Kara, stop talking and get in the car.” Kara’s mouth snapped shut and climbed into the car without another word. “Are you hungry?” She asked before turning the car on.

“Yes! … pizza?” Kara asked innocently.

Lena gripped her steering wheel with both hands and gritted her teeth. “Sure.”

Lena drove them to a nearby pizza parlor and hated herself for it, but hated herself even more for ordering Kara a Hawaiian pizza.

“This is _so_ good!” Kara exclaimed.

Lena plucked all of the pineapple off her slices of pizza and offered them to Kara, whose eyes lit up and she scraped them onto her plate. She was back to wanting to kiss Kara, even if her choice in pizza was unsavory.

“So, Lillian, I don’t know a whole lot about you, other than the few vague things you’ve told me. I want to know more,” Kara said, smiling widely.

Lena fidgeted and shifted uncomfortably in her seat. She wanted to be honest with Kara, tell her who she really was, but it was against the rules. The last time someone did that, they were banished from the reapers and, supposedly, had to spend an eternity washing everyone’s underwear. That was so not the business. So, she spilled lie after lie to Kara, telling her all about her fabricated life, how she loved collecting rocks and lived with Sam – who was _not_ her girlfriend – and Kara just listened to her intently, hands underneath her chin. Now Lena really wanted to kiss her, which would be weird, because Kara would be kissing Lillian and that’s just… no.

“Well, we should probably head out. I think this place is closing soon.” Lena looked over at the sign that had the operating hours on it and it wasn’t actually closing for another two hours, but what was time, anyway? Time was an illusion. They walked back to the car and Kara gave her directions to her apartment. When Lena pulled up to the front of the building, Kara turned to her and smiled.

“Thanks for dinner. It was really nice – oh, and thanks for all of the extra pineapple. That’s my favorite part.”

Lena snorted and nodded. “I guess I’ll see you tomorrow.”

Kara smiled. “Absolutely! Don’t forget to text me your address.”

Lena furrowed her brow. “Wait a minute, if you take the bus to and from work, how are you expecting to pick me up for the party?”

Kara shrugged nonchalantly. “I was going to rent a limo.”

Lena smirked. “Like prom?”

“Oh, uh, kind of? I guess. I don’t know, I didn’t really think about it like that. Oh, gosh, I didn’t mean to presume,” Kara continued to sputter and ramble.

Lena laughed. “Relax, Kara, I’m joking. Save yourself some money. Since I know where you live now, I can come pick you up. Five o’ clock, right?”

“I—uh, yes. Okay! Um, I’ll see you tomorrow, then.”

“Tomorrow,” Lena repeated and laughed while Kara stumbled out of the car and practically skipped up to her building’s front door. She gave one last wave before walking inside.

Lena shook her head and drove off once Kara was safely inside. How could she and Kara have had a strictly sexual relationship? Kara didn’t seem the type. At all. If anything, she seemed like the type of person who’d have a high school sweetheart, get married young, and live in a home that was adorned with fifty ‘Live, Laugh, Love’ decorations all over the place.

The next day was spent ignoring Sam’s teasing and trying to figure out what to wear to an office party.

“You could probably wear a garbage bag and be fine,” Sam said, tossing a kernel of popcorn and Lena, who swiped it away.

“Don’t be an asshole,” Lena glared.

“I’m not! I’m just saying that it won’t matter what you wear, because you’ll still look better than anyone there. Kara surely won’t care.”

“What is that supposed to mean?”

“She likes you.”

Lena scoffed. “What are you talking about? She just lost her boyfriend. I highly doubt she’s thinking of me in any way other than platonically.” She continued trying on different clothing and ripping them off when they didn’t satisfy her, but now _she_ was thinking of Kara in every way but platonically. She was tempted to tell Sam about her and Kara’s relationship prior to her death, but she decided she didn’t want to deal with more teasing.

When it was time for her to leave, she took a corsage and boutonnière out of the refrigerator.

“Oh, my god, you are disgusting,” Sam exclaimed with a laugh. Lena flinched and put them on the counter.

“It’s an inside joke. She was going to rent a limo to pick me up with and I jokingly asked if it was going to be like prom, so I got these.”

Sam rolled her eyes into space and shook her head. “You’re done for, Luthor.”

Lena ignored her and grabbed her purse before walking out of the apartment. She heard Sam yell _make good choices_ as she left. When she got to Kara’s apartment building, she texted her to let her know she was outside. She’d decided on a modest black sleeveless dress – nothing too fancy. When she saw Kara walk outside, her brain short circuited. Kara was wearing a button-down shirt, a navy blue bowtie, some very, _very_ , tight pants, and had a coat draped over one arm. Lena pushed off of the side of her car and opened the door, grabbing the boutonnière and pinning it on Kara’s shirt.

“Now it’s really like prom,” Lena said, sliding the matching corsage on her wrist. Kara laughed and smelled her flower. “Ready to go?” Kara nodded and they both climbed into the car and were on their way. They stopped at one of Lena’s favorite French restaurants on the way and Kara struggled to pronounce all of the dishes, which made Lena laugh. After they finished eating, they headed toward the party.

Lena hadn’t been back to L-Corp since her accident and she wasn’t sure what state it was in. She didn’t even know who was running the company. They arrived and had the valet park the car when Kara saw some coworkers she recognized and bounded up to them to introduce Lena. After shaking hands with a bunch of people she didn’t know and most likely wouldn’t remember after that night, she saw a familiar figure talking with some other people. Her jaw hung wide open.

“Hello, folks, welcome to Luthor-Corp. I’m Lex, the host. Hope you all are having a nice night so far.”

“You’re supposed to be in jail,” Lena said quietly.

Lex looked at her questioningly and then laughed. “I was let out early for good behavior. Anyway, drinks are on the house, so help yourselves. Let me know if you need anything.” Of all of the people Lena thought she would see tonight, her brother was definitely not one of them.

“Hey, are you okay?” Kara asked, leaning in closely.

“I’m fine. I just haven’t seen him in a long time.”

“Who, Lex? You know Lex Luthor?”

Lena snapped herself out of her stupor. “No, of course not. I just mean I hadn’t seen him in the news in a while.”

Kara hummed and then dragged her over to the hors d’oeuvre table. Lena got them both a drink while Kara started piling food on top of a couple small plates. How could Kara still be hungry? And where did she put all of that food? They found a couple of empty chairs at a table and sat down.

“Moving on so soon, Danvers?” a man said over her shoulder.

“Lillian is a friend, Max,” Kara replied, not looking up at him.

“Oh, good, then I’ve still got a chance,” he smirked, taking a sip of his beer. Lena could feel her blood boiling and she was about ready to punch this guy’s face in.

“You’ve never had a chance,” Kara spat back.

“I think you need to put your tiny dick back in your pants and walk away. I’m sure there are plenty of other women here who enjoy Vienna sausages, but we’re vegetarian,” Lena said, staring him right in the eye. Max frowned and didn’t say another word before sulking off.

“Thank you,” Kara said softly.

“It’s nothing. I hate assholes like that. What was his name, again?”

“Maxwell Lord, philanthropist and man-child extraordinaire.” Lena took the post-it she got earlier that morning out of her clutch and looked at it.

M. Lord, 9:15pm, Luther-Corp.

Huh, well that was a happy coincidence. She must have been so busy looking at Kara that she didn’t notice his aura. They spent the rest of the night mostly talking with each other, but every once in a while, one of Kara’s coworkers would interrupt them. Lena looked at her watch and it was almost time for her reap. While Kara was distracted, she excused herself and went to look for Mr. Lord. She found him trying to hit on another woman and walked up to them.

“Oh, are you reconsidering your dietary restrictions?” he said with a wink.

“Maybe I am,” Lena said, dragging her hand down his arm slowly until she touched his hand, initiating the reap. The other woman threw her drink on Max and stormed off.

“That bitch!” Max exclaimed, looking down at his wet shirt. “Excuse me, Lillian. I’ll just change out of this shirt and be right back. Don’t go anywhere.”

Lena rolled her eyes and walked back to her table, grabbing Kara’s hand and dragging her out toward the valet. “I’m bored, let’s get out of here.”

“Where are we going?” Kara asked as Lena kept walking. They heard screams off in the distance. Max’s spirit started chasing after Lena.

“Hey! What did you do to me?”

Lena looked over her shoulder and started walking faster. She plucked her keys off of the valet key rack and started searching for her car. When she found it, she told Kara to get in and she started the engine and drove off.

“Lillian?”

“What?” Lena answered a little too harshly.

“Are you okay?” Kara asked softly.

That was a loaded question. She had just been reunited with her friend, who, apparently, had sex with her on a regular basis, and was slowly realizing that there was a slight chance that she might be in love with her. No, fuck that. She didn’t fall for people, much less her friends. Her life was a fucking mess and her afterlife wasn’t faring any better. And now that she knew her brother was out of prison and took control of Luther-Corp once again, she feared for the future of the company. So, no, she wasn’t okay. She was the furthest thing from okay. “Okay” wasn’t even in Lena’s vocabulary.

“I’m okay,” Lena answered. “I was just ready to go, that’s all.” Kara nodded silently. She looked over at the other woman, who was now staring out of the window. She felt guilty for dragging Kara away from the party just because she didn’t want to deal with Maxwell Lord and having to babysit him afterwards.

As they passed an ice cream parlor that was still open, Lena asked Kara if she was still hungry.

“I’m always hungry,” Kara said, smiling. Lena chuckled and flipped the car around, parking right in front. When they walked inside and looked at the menu, Kara’s eyes were blown wide open. “This place has _rolled ice cream tacos_!”

Lena laughed and scanned the menu. “Get whatever you want.” Kara ended up getting three different flavors of ice cream and Lena got one. When they got their ice cream tacos, they found a seat and Kara tried them one by one. She scooped a bit of ice cream and offered it to Lena, who looked surprised.

“Try this one,” Kara said enthusiastically.

“What flavor is it?”

“Pistachio. It was Lena’s favorite.”

Something in Lena’s chest felt strange. It was almost like a boulder had lodged itself inside of her in place of her heart and was weighing her down. She couldn’t believe that Kara remembered so much about her. Sure, she considered Kara and her to be best friends, but only because Lena didn’t have any friends. She didn’t think Kara cared that much, but maybe she did.

Lena smiled genuinely. “That’s really good.”

“Right?” Kara yelped. “Try the others.” She continued to shovel ice cream into Lena’s mouth and held her mouth open slightly whenever she did. Her face lit up every time Lena humored Kara and took a bite of ice cream.

When they finished eating, Lena drove Kara home and they sat inside of the car for a few minutes.

“I, um, I had a really good time,” Kara said, wringing her fingers. “Thank you for coming with me.”

“Yeah, don’t mention it. I had a good time, too,” Lena replied with a smile. She could tell that Kara wanted to say something else by the way she was chewing on her lip, but she just waited until Kara cleared her throat and opened her door.

“Well, goodnight. I guess I’ll see you at work.”

“Uh, yeah—“ Lena sputtered out as the door closed behind Kara and she watched her quickly walk through the front door of the building. She had no idea why Kara was being so weird. She was always kind of quirky and awkward, but there was usually for a reason for it, but Lena thought that they’d had a good time.

“Hey! I finally fucking found you. Thanks for ditching me back there.”

Lena groaned as Maxwell Lord climbed into her car. The last thing she needed was some womanizing asshole ghosting up her car. She drove them to the diner and waited for J’onn to show up with his instructions. Lena sat next to Sam, as always.

“So, how’d tonight go?” Sam asked.

“It was fine,” Lena said curtly.

“Just fine? No kiss goodnight? No nightcap? Nothing?”

“No, Sam. We’re just friends.”

Sam snorted. “Bullshit. Have you seen the way to look when you talk about her? Of course you haven’t, but you’ve got it bad, Luthor.”

Lena scoffed and rolled her eyes. She was _not_ in love with Kara. She wasn’t. Absolutely not in love with Kara.

_“Kara, where are we going?”_

_“It’s a surprise!”_

_Lena hated surprises. She hated not knowing what to expect and Kara knew that, but she allowed herself to be dragged across the street to a dilapidated building that looked like it housed at least thirteen diseases and possibly termites._

_They were two weeks into their arrangement and even though she kept telling Kara that they weren’t dating, all of their hangouts and meetings definitely felt like dates._

_“Okay, close your eyes,” Kara instructed._

_Lena sighed. “How many times do I have to tell you, I only do the kinky stuff in the bedroom?”_

_Kara laughed. “Come on, Lena. Humor me.”_

_Lena let out a huff and closed her eyes. Kara gently guided her through the front doorway and deeper into the building. It was warm inside and Lena was sat down on a chair._

_“Okay, open.”_

_Opening her eyes, Lena looked around and there were at least fifty candles lit around her with even more rose petals sprinkled all over the place. In front of her were two place settings. Kara held a remote and pushed a button. Music started playing from the speakers on the walls._

_“Kara, what is this?” Lena asked._

_“You told me your parents never really threw you birthday parties, so consider this part of your birthday party. After this, we’re going to go to a bar with all of our friends and stay up way past our bedtimes.” Kara’s beaming smile shone in the dim light and Lena felt a tightness in her chest. How dare Kara make her feel things? Kara, with her gentle smile and her big heart and her irritating thoughtfulness and her ridiculous biceps. No one would blame her for falling for Kara._

… shit. She was in love with Kara.

“What do I do?”

Sam laughed. “What do you mean ‘what do you do?’ You have two choices: go after her or don’t, and considering you’re dead and you’re not actually you, I think the choice is pretty clear.”

“Actually, it’s not clear at all. If she likes me when I’m… like this, shouldn’t I at least try?”

Sam looked at her consolingly, for once. “Look, Lena, you know J’onn’s rules. No fraternizing with people you knew in your past life, but you and I both know you hate following the rules. Or, you could listen to J'onn for once and back off.”

“I’ve been fraternizing with her for the past week. I’d say it’s a little too late now.”

“Yeah, but it hasn’t gone too far. You can still pull out. This is pre-conceived, no baby romance yet.”

Lena shook her head. “I think I was in love with her, Sam. Kara said—she said that we had to break off our arrangement, because I had fallen in love with her. Then I died and she met Mike and now he’s dead. Maybe this is my second chance.”

“Jesus, Luthor. I always knew you were a mess, but this is way more than I expected.”

Lena shoved Sam off of her chair.

Now that the elephant in the room was out of the bag, or whatever those stupid sayings were, Lena had to figure out what she was doing. Did she continue seeing Kara as a friend and hope that she was able to keep her feelings in check, or did she walk away? Walking away would be easier and was something that Lena was used to, but she couldn’t help but remember Kara’s face when she told her that she thought Lena’s death was her fault. Kara was as alone as she had been her whole life and her cold, shriveled heart couldn’t stand the thought of her feeling bad on her account.

J’onn handed out their assignments and assured Lena that Maxwell would be reassigned after she voiced her concerns about kicking him six ways from Sunday if he so much as looked at her.

When Lena went to work the next day, Kara wasn’t at her desk when she got there. She didn’t text all day and she wasn’t waiting at the elevator for her, either. She contemplated texting Kara first, but she wasn’t a needy bitch and decided against it. Instead, she just drove past Kara’s apartment complex in hopes that she’d catch a glimpse of Kara.

Much better.

She sat in her car for about a half hour, scanning each window, trying to figure out which one was Kara’s. She couldn’t see shit through the curtains and everyone’s silhouette looked the same. Of course, she could just go find her buzzer, but that was far too easy. Lena loved suffering.

As she was about to leave, she noticed someone opening one of their windows and peering out.

“Lillian, is that you?”

Fuck.

Lena stuck her head out of her window and smiled sheepishly. “Hey.”

“Are you okay? Do you want to come up?” Kara yelled down at her. Lena sighed and opened her door, walking up to the front of the building and waiting for Kara to buzz her in. When she heard the loud buzz, she pushed the door open and walked in. She heard footsteps racing down the stairs and Kara nearly bumped into her.

“Hey! Hi. What are you doing here?”

“I, uh, I was in the neighborhood and you weren’t at work today, so I was just seeing if you were okay.”

Kara looked at her skeptically. “You know, they have these contraptions called phones that you could use if you’re worried about someone and want to know if they’re all right.”

Lena rolled her eyes. “Yes, I know, but after dropping you off after the party, something felt off, so I wasn’t sure if I had done something or you were upset about something. I didn’t want to overstep.”

“So you decided to just sit outside of my apartment for who knows how long instead?” Kara said with a smirk.

Lena huffed. “This was a mistake, I’m sorry. I’ll just go.”

“Lillian, wait, come inside for a drink, at least. It’s the least I could do for making you worry.” Kara took Lena’s hand and led her upstairs. They arrived at Kara’s apartment and she pushed the door open. It was a modest apartment and very Kara. She stood near the door until Kara took her coat and ushered her toward the couch.

“Um, I’ve got beer or red wine,” Kara said with her nose in her cupboards.

“Wine will be fine, thanks,” Lena answered.

Kara chuckled. “I didn’t think you’d be a beer girl.” She grabbed a couple of wine glasses and uncorked the wine bottle, pouring it out and making her way over to the couch. Lena sat down and heard some noise coming from the bathroom. The door opened and a woman with short, auburn hair, walked out.

“Hey Kara, did you know the light in your bathroom is out?”

Lena looked at the new woman who walked out of the bathroom like she owned the place. Who the hell was this sidepiece?

“Oh, yeah, I’ve been meaning to fix that. Sorry.” She looked at Lena and then at the other woman and jumped. “Oh! Sorry. Lillian, this is my sister, Alex. Alex, this is my friend, Lillian. She’s the one I took to the office party, remember?”

“ _Sister_ ,” Lena noted out loud. “It’s nice to meet you, Alex.”

“Likewise.”

They stood there looking at each other awkwardly for a moment before Kara clapped her hands together. “So! Who’s hungry? Um, sorry Alex, you’ll probably have to drive. I drank some wine.”

Alex rolled her eyes and grabbed her keys, leading them outside and down to her car. The whole way to the restaurant, Lena saw Alex’s eyes dart up to her through the rearview mirror and it made her really uncomfortable. It made her feel like she was being studied, dissected.

“Okay, we’re here,” Kara called out from the front seat. She climbed out of the car and opened Lena’s door for her. Lena mumbled her thanks and stepped out onto the sidewalk. She looked up at the lit sign in front of them and they were at a diner that she and Kara used to go to all the time whenever they had met up for sex, because it was the closest place that was open at all hours of the night. Why did Lena remember that? Lena found herself remembering more from her past life and she attributed it to being in the near vicinity of Kara. It’s like it sparked her memories, mostly of them together.

_"Have you ever thought of being friends with benefits?" Kara asked._

_"What, you mean with each other?"_

_"Sure, why not? I mean, we're friends already, we hang out all the time, and we already know what makes the other tick, so it's kind of perfect."_

_If Lena hadn't been carefully molded and trained by her parents, she would have panicked and most likely would have thrown herself out a window after hearing Kara's proposition. It was a terrible idea, but against her better judgement, Lena couldn't say no to Kara and she agreed. Thus, began her long journey to becoming a walking disaster._

“You coming?” Alex asked Lena while holding the door open. Lena ducked her head and walked through, finding the booth that Kara had claimed and sat across from her. Alex sat next to Kara and they all picked up their menus. When the waitress came to take their orders, Kara ordered French toast, while Alex ordered a two egg omelet. Lena stared at her menu like it was written in a different language, but decided to order a bowl of fruit with country potatoes and wheat toast on the side – no butter. Kara watched her order with her brow furrowed.

“That’s what Lena used to order,” she said quietly.

“Oh, is it?” Lena answered dismissively, while unfolding her napkin and placing it over her lap. What an idiot she was. She should have known better than to order the same exact thing that she used to order, especially when it was so specific.

Alex looked at the two of them suspiciously and sipped her water. “So, how do you two know each other?”

“Oh, we work together-kind of,” Kara stated with a chuckle. “We work in the same building.”

“I see,” Alex replied. “Well, that’s nice. Kara does need to get out more.” Kara playfully slapped her sister on the arm and blushed.

“I get out plenty,” Kara argued, playing with her straw and stirring it in her water.

“You haven’t been going out ever since Le—“

“Don’t, Alex,” Kara interrupted, giving her sister a warning look.

Alex shrugged. “All I’m saying is, you and Mike were coworkers. You didn’t have to look far for him. You need to branch out, send out feelers, or something.”

Lena watched the sisters talk and tried her hardest to keep her nose out of their business, but when it was _right there_ , she couldn’t help but wonder what had happened to Kara after Lena’s death. Did she mourn her? How long? She didn’t think they were _that_ close, but maybe she misread the situation. She always assumed that she felt more for Kara than Kara did for her, but perhaps she was wrong.

After they finished their meal, they headed back to Kara’s apartment and Alex left soon after, hugging her sister and giving Lena a friendly wave before she did. In the quiet of the apartment, Kara grabbed more wine glasses and poured them each one, handing one to Lena before sitting on the couch.

Lena traced a fingertip on the rim of the glass before she took a sip. Kara sat next to her and watched her, smiling slightly.

“You talk about your friend Lena a lot,” Lena mentioned. “Well, not a lot, but she’s come up in several conversations. I take it you two were close? I mean, you told me about your… sexual relationship, but was there more?”

Kara sighed. “Right, yeah, we had sex. And, as I told you before, I had to break things off when Lena starting having feelings. It was our agreement. I think I regret it, though.”

“You think?” Lena asked. It was strange asking Kara about herself, but she wanted to know what she was like when she was alive. Did she have friends? Was she lonely?

Kara shrugged. “She was my best friend. I saw how much I hurt her when I said we shouldn’t sleep with each other anymore. Especially with her relationship with her family, I didn’t want her to think I was abandoning her. I just wanted to make sure we remained friends without complicating things.”

“But you also mentioned that you might have felt the same way.”

“Yeah, I don’t know. Feelings for your best friend are always complicated. You’re the closest with that person, so how do you distinguish platonic, familial feelings from romantic ones? I think maybe if we’d had more time, I probably would have figured it out eventually, but I guess I’ll never know now.”

Lena nodded, wondering if she and Kara would have had a chance if she’d stayed alive long enough to find out. After sobering up, Lena finished her glass of water and stood up.

“It’s late, I should probably get going.”

“Right, of course,” Kara said, standing up and heading toward the door. The light in her eyes looked a little dimmer, not that Lena paid attention to that kind of thing.

“Will you be at work tomorrow?” Lena asked.

Kara forced a smile across her lips. “Yep, I’ll be there. Snapper’s got me neck-deep in stories regarding Max Lord’s untimely death, so I’ve got to get that done.”

Lena smirked and grabbed her purse before walking toward the door. “Want to grab lunch?”

Kara perked up a little. “I’d love to.” She opened the door to her apartment and threw herself into Lena’s arms, hugging her tightly. “Thank you,” she whispered.

“Um, you’re welcome?” Lena had no idea why she was being thanked or why she was getting hugged, but she embraced Kara and smiled as she walked down the hallway. On her way to the diner, there was a little extra pep in her step and everyone noticed when she walked in.

“Did you finally get laid?” Sam asked.

Lena scoffed as she sat down in the booth next to her. “No, don’t be ridiculous.”

Sam eyed her carefully. “Whatever you say, Luthor. Something definitely happened. You’re actually smiling.”

“Lena had sex?” James asked with his eyes wide, while he slid into the booth with Lucy.

“No, I did not have sex! Jesus, people, my sex life is none of your business.”

J’onn pulled up a chair. “I don’t care who’s sleeping with whom, as long as you’re following the rules.” Winn rushed through the door and settled in, ducking his head when he noticed J’onn glaring at him. J’onn cleared his throat and began the meeting. “Okay, listen up, everybody. You’re going to have two assignments for tomorrow. We’re a little swamped, so make sure you set some time aside to get them done.” Winn and James groaned and Lena sighed. Everyone lined up to get their post-its.

Lena looked at her post-it and her mouth went dry. If she hadn’t already been pale as a ghost, she would have gone white.

 _A. Danvers and K. Danvers_.

Well, fuck.


	3. Chapter 3

Alex and Kara were scheduled to die tomorrow. What did Lena do in her past lives to garner such ire from the powers that be? Surely, it had to be a mistake. No one could have that much bad luck.

“Who’d you get?” Sam asked, looking over Lena’s shoulder. “Danvers. Oh, shit! The girl you like?”

Lena could only nod her head.

“That’s rough. What are you going to do?”

“I, I don’t know. I don’t want her to die.”

Sam looked at her with sympathy. “But if she dies, the two of you could be together, and she’d see you as Lena again.”

Lena shook her head and held the post-it in her lap. “She doesn’t deserve this. She’s been through so much already. You need to help me, Sam.”

Sam looked over at the others, who were all busy talking and eating. She dragged Lena to the restroom, using ‘girl problems’ as the excuse. She shut them both inside and locked the door.

“Lena, think about this. If they find out, they’ll banish you or vaporize your soul. I don’t know what the hell they do, but it won’t be good.”

“I have to do this, Sam. I have to help her,” Lena said, pacing across the restroom, stopping only to look at Sam with pleading eyes. “Help me.”

Sam sighed and set her hands on her hips. “Fine, but if we get caught, I will not hesitate to throw you under the bus – literally and metaphorically.”

Lena hugged her and some strange watery liquid started to come out the corner of her eyes and her nose started to plug up. She had no idea what was happening, but she didn’t like it.

“Okay, okay, don’t get all soft on me, Luthor,” Sam said, patting Lena’s back awkwardly.

Lena wiped away the foreign watery liquid from her cheeks and straightened her clothing. They headed home and stayed up even later, trying to figure out how they were going to cheat death – twice.

After not sleeping at all, Lena drove herself to work and did her best to avoid Kara, but that girl had some kind of sixth sense that knew when Lena was around, because she was standing in front of the elevator when she got there.

“Jesus, Kara!” Lena squeaked.

“Good morning! I got you coffee,” Kara said, shoving a hot cup into Lena’s hands. Kara moved in for a hug and Lena recoiled and took a step back quickly.

“Don’t touch me!” Lena yelled out loudly, watching eyes around the office slowly lift up and point in her direction. When she saw the hurt look on Kara’s face, she gave her best fake cough that she could muster. “I’m, uh, sick. I don’t want to give you whatever I have.”

Kara smiled. “Oh, okay. Are we still on for lunch? Maybe we can get you some soup.”

Lena nodded and smelled her coffee. It was the kind she drank when she was alive. How did Kara know that?

“Yeah, sure, lunch. I’ll see you then,” Lena said as she turned to walk down the hall. She didn’t have to look behind her to know that Kara was still watching her. Lena pulled the post-it note out of her pocket and the Danvers’ names screamed out at her like that stupid llama video that Winn kept showing her. The time wasn’t until later that evening, when she supposed Kara and Alex would be having dinner together. She couldn't concentrate on her work at all that day and she kept making tiny mistakes that she got reprimanded for. If she didn’t need her job, she would have shoved a stapler up her boss’ ass hours ago. When it was time for lunch, Lena walked down the long hallway toward Kara’s side of the building and she saw someone standing in front of Kara’s desk – a man. Kara was smiling. This guy was making her _laugh._ Lena gritted her teeth and clenched her fists, stomping past the desks on her way toward Kara and this buffoon, whoever he was. Wait, she recognized him.

“Lena! This is Mack Greer, he’s new here.”

It was _Jack_. Jack reached over the desk and offered his hand and Lena just glared at him.

“Tough crowd,” he laughed. “Anyway, I should let you go. The two of you are probably on your way to lunch.”

“Why don’t you come with us? We can show you all the good places nearby, isn’t that right, Lena?”

If Lena clenched her jaw any harder, she’d have no more teeth and she’d have to gum Jack’s arm until her saliva seeped into his pores and it became so prune-y that he wouldn’t be able to use it to wank off anymore.

“That’s right. We know all of the good places to eat,” Lena said begrudgingly.

“Great! Shall we?” Jack held his arm out for Kara to take and Lena trailed behind them. When did she become the third goddamn wheel? She grumbled and followed them to the restaurant. The entire lunch hour, all Lena did was glower with her arms folded across her chest. When Kara asked why she wasn’t eating, she simply said that she’d suddenly lost her appetite. Kara looked at her with concern in her eyes, but it disappeared quickly after Jack said something dreadfully obnoxious that made her laugh. When they finished eating, Jack insisted on paying. Had Lena known that, she would have ordered everything off of the menu. Lena was nothing if not petty.

After dropping Kara off at her desk, Jack and Lena walked out toward the hallway and Lena grabbed him by the collar, dragging him deep into one of the side entryways.

“What the fuck do you think you’re doing?” Lena spat.

“What do you mean? I’m just being friendly with my coworker.”

“She’s off-limits,” Lena said, pointing a finger and digging it into Jack’s chest. Jack holds his hands up, surrendering to Lena’s rage.

“Okay, okay. I’ll back off. I didn’t know you and her were a thing.”

“We’re not _a thing_ ,” Lena sneered. “She’s just off-fucking-limits.”

Jack smirked. “Got it. I can be your wingman, you know. I’m pretty good at it.”

Lena rolled her eyes. “I don’t need a wingman, thank you very much. I’m perfectly capable of finding my own dates.”

“Ah ha! So you _do_ want to date Kara.”

“Oh, for fuck’s sake. Lower your voice.”

“Look, Lena, I’d like to be your friend. If you want Kara, I can help you get her.”

Lena shook her head. “I already told you, I don’t need your help. I’m doing perfectly fine on my own.”

“Is that why you’re still pussyfooting around her and using your lunch dates as stand-ins for real dates?”

Just who the hell did this guy think he was? He didn’t know a single thing about her. She wasn’t acting like she was dating Kara. So what if she was risking her eternal soul by ignoring her assignment and decided not to reap Kara and Alex? She would have done it for anyone, except for maybe Max Lord or that Mike guy, or anyone who looked at Kara. Clearly, she was only looking out for Kara, her _friend._ It didn’t mean she wanted to fu—

“Lena?” Kara asked.

“What?” Lena snapped. She looked at her watch and she only had a few hours until the reap. “Shit, I have to go.”

“Wait, where are you going?”

She didn’t care that Jack was following her. She just needed to hurry and figure out how to trick death itself, and at the same time, hide from J’onn. Lena and Jack stood in front of LuthorCorp, staring up at the building as it appeared to disappear into the clouds above. She hated the fact that she was back there again, about to beg her brother for help, but she was desperate – though, if anyone asked, she was just doing this out of the goodness of her heart and _not_ at all because she wanted Kara to bend her over a desk and have her way with her. Definitely not. Don’t be ridiculous.

They rode up the elevator after giving the secretary a falsified story about needing to speak with Lex about some random device that Lena knew was in the archives. She knew Lex would see her if she mentioned it. When the doors opened, they arrived on Lex’s floor and Lena’s feet already knew where to take her. They walked through the maze of hallways until they got to Lex’s office and she knocked on the door. A _come in_ came from inside and Lena pushed through the door with Jack following obediently behind. He knew better than to ask Lena what they were doing, so he kept quiet.

“You must be my two o’clock. Welcome.” Lex said, standing up and walking around his desk to meet them.

“Lillian, and this is Jack,” Lena said.

Lex scoffed. “Lillian, huh? Cute.” It was strange that her brother didn’t seem more surprised to see her, but she supposed that being friends – or, former friends – with Superman meant that you saw a lot of things that didn’t always make sense.

“Nice to see you, too, Lex. I need your help.”

“My baby sister coming to ask me for help. I never thought I’d see the day. Come, sit,” he gestured toward the couch in the middle of the room while he walked over to the minibar. “Can I get either of you a drink?”

“We can’t exactly get drunk, but sure. Scotch for me.”

“Same,” Jack said.

Lex dutifully poured out the drinks and handed them to the others, sitting in the chair next to them.

“You don’t look surprised to see me,” Lena noted, sipping the scotch, even though she could down it in one gulp with no issues.

“You act as if I don‘t have eyes and ears everywhere,” Lex replied, taking a sip of his own drink. I am fully aware of the reapers and what that entails.”

“You have a mole,” Lena said with a frown.

Lex shrugged. “I have a friend who sends me updates, yes. Maxwell Lord, I’m sure you know him.”

Lena rolled her eyes. Of course it was Max Lord, that asshat. He was a wanker in life and now in death. If Lena had held grudges, she could turn him in, but he wasn’t worth the effort.

“Now, what do you need my help with?”

Lena explained her predicament, minus the part where she was madly in love with Kara, because she _wasn’t_. She told him that she was, indeed, still dead, but she was a grim reaper and had a job to do, but was choosing not to do it, because this woman, this—embodiment of sunshine, or whatever, decided that she was going to impose herself on Lena again and infiltrate her every thought. She was breaking at least twenty-seven rules just by telling Lex all of this, but she didn’t care. She was desperate enough.

Lex took both of them down to the basement, where he kept all of his prototypes that he was currently working on. Lena looked around and saw all of the things she had specifically put away into the archives, because they were too dangerous, but Lex had pulled them all back out again – different weapons, a mech suit, various metals and liquids sat on the tables.

“Jesus, look at all of this tech,” Jack whistled.

“Please, take a look around. Most of this stuff isn’t in working condition, but R&D is working on a few things.”

Lena continues going up and down every row until she stumbled upon the exact thing she was looking for.

* * *

“Kiera, why are you still here?” Cat Grant asked when Kara walked through her office door.

“I was finishing up a story you asked for, Ms. Grant. I just e-mailed it to you.” Cat opened her inbox and quickly read through Kara’s story about the influx of stray dogs and pet adoption in National City. It was a fluff piece, but it had been a slow news week.

“This is fine, Kiera. You should shut down for the night and head home.” Ever since Mike’s untimely demise, Cat had been uncharacteristically nice to Kara and it was unnerving. Kara was used to getting yelled at for accidentally ordering whipped cream on Cat’s coffee, or forgetting to remind her about a board meeting. Being Cat’s assistant, as well as a budding journalist, was tough, but Kara was determined to succeed. Sure, Cat had significantly reduced her assistant role once they hired an inferior assistant, but Kara continued to pick up the slack.

“Okay, thank you, Ms. Grant. I’ll see you on Monday.”

“Oh, and Kiera,” Cat called out, not looking up from her laptop.

“Yes, Ms. Grant?”

“I’ve noticed you’ve taken a liking to that girl from the sports journalism side of the building.”

How did Cat know _everything_? She must have looked at camera footage, or she had spies everywhere. Spies!

“Um, yes. Lillian and I have become good friends.”

“That’s good. You should be around friends, or, those who are more than friends.”

Kara tilted her head. “More than friends?”

Cat chuckled lightly. “Kiera, I’ve been in the business of gossip and news since before you were born. I know what it looks like when two people like each other and are trying to hide it. You like her and she likes you. One of you just has to be brave enough to act on it.”

“But… I barely know her,” Kara tried to argue.

“I wouldn’t be so sure of that,” Cat answered, turning the corner of her lip upwards. “Anyway, go home, get some sleep, and relax this weekend. You deserve it.”

“Uh, thanks, Ms. Grant.” Kara took her leave, gathered her things, and headed toward the elevator. She took out her phone and called Alex to see if she wanted to grab dinner. Alex, of course, agreed and said she would meet Kara at her apartment in an hour, with pizza in tow. Kara smiled and texted Lena to see if she’d like to join them and caught her next bus.

* * *

 

Back at LuthorCorp, Lena, Lex, and Jack were all trying to figure out how to trick death into not taking Alex and Kara. As it turned out, Jack was also quite adept in science and engineering, but not as much as Lena.

“I owned my own tech company when I was alive,” Jack explained. “We were actually in talks of a merger with L-Corp before you, you know.”

Lena thought for a moment. “Spheerical Industries? That was you?”

“The one and only,” Jack winked. They continued tinkering and Lena stopped and turned to her brother.

“Is there something here that would let me get my memories back? I had most of them wiped after I became a reaper.”

“We can probably find something,” Lex replied. Lena looked at her watch and their time was ticking down. Lex started digging through a box full of devices before pulling a bunch of wires out.

“Ah ha! This should work. Sit down,” he instructed. Lena did as she was told and sat down on a stool. Lex placed a few electrodes around Lena’s forehead and fiddled with some dials. “All right, try to relax. This may feel funny, at first.”

“Just get on with it,” Lena said, closing her eyes. She listened to the hum of the machine as it started to power up. Lex flipped a few switches and there was a sharp pain behind her eyes as memories started flooding through, jumbled and messy.

_After agreeing to the terms of their agreement, they’d met for dinner and tried to act normal around each other, but Lena couldn’t help but stare at Kara’s lips the entire evening. They agreed to start slow, so on the way home, they made out in their cab and groped one another until the driver told them to knock it off and that he wasn’t paying to have his seats cleaned. When the cab pulled up to Kara’s building, Lena threw money into the front seat and dragged Kara out of the car._

_Lena pushed Kara against the wall of the elevator as it ascended the next few floors and attached her lips to the soft skin of Kara’s neck, biting it gently. Kara and Lena stumbled through the doorway of Kara’s apartment, shedding their clothing on the floor and on furniture until they got to the bed. Kara pushed Lena onto the mattress gently and crawled onto it herself. They kissed and Lena scooted up toward the pillows, allowing Kara to slot herself between her legs, feeling a knee press up into her and she gasped._

_Lena whispered in Kara’s ear, begging her to touch her, and she did. She felt Kara everywhere and never wanted it to end._

_This was them starting slow._

Lena’s brow furrowed as the memories came rushing back, most of them good, of her and Kara’s sexcapades, of them hanging out and being friends. It isn’t until she got to the memory that ended all of it that she felt herself twitch. She didn't regain consciousness, though, she just watched the memory play back and remind her of the time that she ruined everything.

_Kara and Lena had been meeting up and having sex for about eight months and Lena thought it was going pretty well, aside from the fact that she had fallen hard for Kara and it ate her up inside. She was torn between telling Kara how she felt, which was completely out of the question, and bottling it up deep inside her and never letting it see the light of day. Lena Luthor didn’t do feelings, and she especially didn’t do them with best friends. It was stupid. She’d get over it, eventually._

_Except, she never got over it. In fact, it just got worse the more they saw each other and Lena hated herself for it. She wasn’t supposed to fall for Kara and she especially wasn’t supposed to be the one to say it first._

_One night, after they’d had way too much to drink, they went back to Kara’s apartment to finish the night off with multiple orgasms. What Lena hadn’t planned on was Kara collapsing onto the bed face-first and falling asleep. Lena usually didn’t spend the night, but she was dead tired and laid down next to Kara after taking off her shoes. She turned on her side, facing Kara, who was breathing deeply through her mouth, and brushed a strand of hair behind her ear._

_“You know, I never thought that I’d be the one to develop feelings,” Lena whispered. “I thought my family had beat every feeling out of me, but then you came along.”_

_Kara’s eyes shot open and Lena was faced with a very awake Kara Danvers._

_“You have feelings for me?”_

_Lena felt her heart start to race and tried to figure out how to talk her way out of this, but she was coming up empty. Kara’s blue eyes pierced through her as they waited patiently for her to answer._

_“I’m sorry,” Lena said, almost inaudibly, breaking their eye contact. “I know I fucked this up.”_

_Kara lifted a hand and cupped Lena’s cheek. “You didn’t… mess anything up. But you know we have to stop now, right? That was what we agreed?”_

_Lena nodded and sat up. She slowly got off of the bed and pulled out her phone, calling her driving to come pick her up. She apologized once more before leaving Kara’s apartment and waiting for her car to arrive in front of the building. Her body at least had the decency to wait until she was in the car with the partition raised before she fell apart and cried the entire way home._

_The next morning, she received a phone call from Cat Grant._

_“What did you do to Kiera?” Cat demanded._

_“I don’t know what you’re talking about, Ms. Grant.”_

_“Then explain to me why my assistant has been moping around the office all day. I know you and her have gotten close recently, so whatever it is that you did, fix it.”_

_Lena sighed as the call ended and she looked at her screen. She felt the urge to text Kara and ask if she wanted to have lunch together, but she knew both of them needed time and space away from each other if they had any hope of salvaging their friendship. They never got a chance to speak again._

Lena’s eyes opened slowly and her chest was tight. She had trouble catching her breath and she almost fell off of the stool before Jack caught her.

“I remember everything. Jesus Christ,” Lena said through sobs. Now she knew why she had those memories wiped. If she had known her history with Kara, she never would have taken the job at CatCo, never would have reconnected with her, but they had found their way back together, anyway, and now, she was supposed to prepare Kara and her sister for a reap that she didn’t want to complete.

“Okay, well, that part’s done,” Lex said, carefully removing the electrodes from Lena’s forehead. “Now we just need to figure out your other problem.” He began typing away at one of his computers while Lena did her best to calm down. To add insult to injury, Kara had texted her multiple times, asking if she wanted to meet her and Alex for dinner and then backtracked when Lena didn’t reply and said that there was no pressure and that it was okay if she had other plans.

“Want me to answer her?” Jack offered.

“No, I’ll do it. I just need to make sure I can face her again without killing her.”

“Here it is,” Lex announced. “I had to look through the archives.” He picked up a phone and instructed someone on the other line to bring him ‘Prototype 1938-S’. A few minutes later, a stocky man holding a box in his hands let himself in through the sliding doors and placed the box on the counter in front of Lex. After the man left, Lex pulled the device out of the box and it looked like some intergalactic dildo.

“What the hell is that?” Lena asked.

“This is the solution to your reaper problem,” Lex answered, pointing at her. “I started working on it after Dad died, but never quite got it to work, but you and I should be able to figure it out.”

“Okay, but what does it _do_?” Lena asked again, getting very frustrated with her brother. He would always withhold certain bits of information from her when they were younger and force her to figure things out on her own.

“Hold still, I’m going to bring you back to life.” 

* * *

Kara stared at the blank screen on her phone and sighed. Alex sat at the kitchen table and watched her. “Why don’t you just call her?” she asks.

“I don’t want to look needy! She’s probably just busy,” Kara replied, slapping her phone down on her kitchen counter.

Alex watched her sister start pacing around the kitchen. “You know, I haven’t seen you this anxious since your first date with Lena.”

Kara snorted and stopped walking. “What are you talking about? I’m not anxious. And they weren’t dates!”

“Oh, right, your booty calls.”

Kara felt her face get warm and instead of arguing, she looked at her phone again, but it was still blank.

“Why did you agree to those, anyway? You’ve never been one for casual sex. You didn’t even have a boyfriend in high school.”

Kara shrugged and sat down before she caused her apartment floor to cave in from wear and tear. “I don’t know. I thought it was a good idea at the time. Both of use were busy with our jobs and couldn’t find decent dates. We were both attractive and single.”

Alex crossed her arms, not buying Kara’s story. “Yes, but, you’d never had sex with a woman before. Why Lena?”

“I don’t know, Alex!” Kara shouted and threw her hands up in frustration. “I don’t know why Lena.”

Alex smiled at her knowingly and with an ounce of pity. Kara had been floundering ever since Lena died – even more so than when Mike died. After Mike’s death, Kara seemed to bounce right back, but Alex suspected it had something to do with her new friend, Lillian. In any case, she was just happy that Kara had stopped spiraling as she had been a couple years ago, diving headfirst into dangerous situations, not caring about her own well-being.

“You know, it’s okay to admit that you loved her. It might make things easier.”

Kara shook her head. “No, it won’t. I-I should have told her sooner. I shouldn’t have broken things off and now she’ll never know how I felt. I was so stupid and stubborn, and terrified of losing my best friend, but I ended up losing her anyway.”

Kara’s shoulders sank and for the first time in forever, she let herself cry. She mourned her friend and mourned the could have been’s. Alex stood up and wrapped her arms around her sister, letting her cry into her shoulder. She knew that Kara had always tried to put on a brave face for everyone else’s sake and never took the time to break down. She was always the one who found the positives, the one who smiled in the face of despair.

“I loved her,” Kara sobbed. “I was in love with her.” It was the first time she said it out loud, the first time she admitted it to herself and it hurt. She knew that was why she’d latched onto Lillian so readily – because she reminded Kara of Lena so much. It was almost like she had her best friend back.

Kara’s phone vibrated on the counter and Kara broke away from her sister to check it. Lillian had finally sent her a message to apologize and say she got held up at work, but she would love to meet up for dinner. She gave Kara a half hour to get ready before she’d be there. Alex gave her shoulder a comforting squeeze and Kara excused herself to wash up.

When Kara came out, her face was washed and she’d changed out of her sweats and t-shirt, to look somewhat more presentable. The buzzer rang and Kara assumed it was Lillian, so she unlocked the front door. As footsteps approached her front door, Kara swung the door wide open before anyone could knock. Kara was face-to-face with Lena again and she looked exactly the same way she did before her death.

“Lena? What the fu—“

Kara didn’t finish swearing and collapsed on the floor.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hope the POV switches aren't annoying. Thanks for reading.
> 
> I'm on tumblr, as well, @bearpantaloons.


	4. Chapter 4

_“Kara? Hey, Kara?”_

_Kara was shaken from her slumber and her eyes opened slowly. She was looking into a pair of green eyes staring back at her. “What happened?”_

_“You fell asleep. I know you don’t like sleeping over. Did you want to go home?”_

_Kara rubbed her eyes and willed herself to wake up. She looked around to get her bearings. She was on Lena’s couch; they had eaten dinner together and went back to Lena’s penthouse for sex, but all she remembered was kissing Lena and the beginnings of clothing removal before everything went blank._

_“Crap, I’m sorry. Did I fall asleep in the middle of it? Gosh, how embarrassing.”_

_Lena chuckled. “It’s all right, you did warn me and said you were tired. Come on, I’ll have my driver take you home.”_

_Kara sat up while Lena texted her driver. She smiled when she leaned back and Kara leaned her head on her shoulder. “Have you ever thought about seeing other people?” Kara asked suddenly. “Like, do you ever want more than… this?”_

_Lena looked straight ahead. “I haven’t really given it much thought. I don’t have time to date and you and I seem to be working. Do you want something more? Because I’m okay with breaking things off if you’re looking for something serious.”_

_“No, no!” Kara said rapidly. “I’m just kind of thinking out loud, I guess. I mean, we’re having a good time, right? This is fun?”_

_Lena hummed affirmatively and they fell into a comfortable silence until Lena’s driver informed her that he was outside. Lena walked Kara to the door and waited. Kara turned around and hugged Lena, surprising her with a gentle kiss on the cheek._

_“Bye, Lena,” Kara said as she turned around and walked down the hallway, toward the elevator. She willed herself not to look back again, at the risk of running straight back into Lena’s arms._

“Kara? Kara, can you hear me?”

Kara felt herself being shaken and she opened her eyes. Her eyes did their best to focus on the face that hovered above her. She had the strangest dream, that Lena had come back from the dead, and—oh, god, it wasn’t a dream.

“Hey,” Lena said with a crooked smile. Kara jumped up and put distance between the two of them. She looked in Alex’s direction, who looked just as confused as she did. Then, there was this other strange man standing next to Lena.

“Wha—you—how?” Kara stammered. “Wait, no, I’m still dreaming. This is a dream within a dream, like _Inception_. I’m Leonardo DiCaprio. How did they wake each other up? Kara ran to the bathroom and started running a bath. The rest followed her.

“Kara, what are you doing?” Alex asked, watching her sister slowly losing it.

“In the movie, Leo’s character falls into a bathtub to wake up. Get me a chair.”

“Kara, stop,” Lena grabbed Kara’s hands and Kara jumped back.

“Unhand me, demon!”

Lena sighed. “Kara, it’s me. It’s Lena.”

Kara shook her head. ”Nope, Lena’s dead. I went to her funeral, I buried her. You’re not her.”

Jack took a step forward. “Uh, hi. I’m new to this narrative, but I can vouch for her. I was a reaper, too, but Lena’s brother Lex helped us out.” He stroked his well-kept beard happily. It's a good thing his body had been buried near LuthorCorp.

A loud, sharp, laugh came from Kara’s mouth as she gave him an incredulous look. “Now I know you’re not her. Never in a million years would Lena have asked her brother for help.”

“I did it for you,” Lena murmured. “To save you and your sister.”

Kara shook her head, not believing the words that were being said, not believing her own eyes. Without another word, she grabbed her coat and ran out of her apartment, leaving the rest to follow her. She was losing her mind and everyone else was just watching it happen.

Lena walked beside Alex. “You believe me, don’t you, Alex?”

“I don’t really know you, Lena. I only know what Kara’s told me, so I can’t really tell you whether or not I believe you. All I can say is that Kara was a mess when Lena—you—died and whoever you were when you came back, whatever you did, it brought Kara back, so I guess I should thank you for that. But I think a part of her may feel a little betrayed, because you hid behind the other face and you got close to her without telling her who you were.”

Lena swiped away one of those pesky drops of water that came out of her eye.

“I didn’t lie to her, you know, about who I was. I just—I wasn’t able to tell her. I couldn’t blow my cover. I wouldn’t have been allowed to stay. It’s not like she would have believed me, anyway.”

Alex just shrugged and they followed Kara into a restaurant, where she immediately ordered before she sat down.

“Why are we here?” Alex asked.

“I’m stress-eating,” Kara said with a pout. They all sat somewhat silently, aside from Jack trying to lighten the mood with his dumb jokes. The waitress came by with two plates of potstickers and Kara put both of them in front of herself and started eating.

“Kara, I wanted to sa—“

Kara interrupted Lena by holding a hand up to silence her and continued chomping away at her dumplings. Lena really needed to get Kara alone somehow, to explain everything that happened and why she didn’t tell her who she was.

_“Um, so, what exactly is that thing supposed to do?” Lena asked her brother, staring at the device he held in his hands._

_“Well, essentially what it does, is it takes your soul and sends it back to your body. Then, it regenerates all of your organs and cells, et viola, you’re you again. Luckily, your body is here. Mom wanted to build a crypt beneath the company, because she was afraid anything put in a cemetery would get defaced.”_

_“I didn’t think she cared,” Lena scoffed. She knew her mother didn't really care; she probably just didn't want to have to pay for someone to take care of her burial plot. "So, you said you developed this after Dad died, but it didn’t work. Why do you think it’ll work now?”_

_“Because I have your soul, your essence, here in front of me. With Dad, I had no idea where his was, so I couldn’t bring the two together. I have no idea if it’ll work or if it’s going to hurt, so you might want to brace yourself.”_

_Lena held onto the edge of a table and Jack watched nervously. Lex pointed the device right at Lena and pulled the trigger. A light blue beam was shot straight into Lena’s chest and her entire body was thrown backwards. Lex continued firing until Lena’s body evaporated._

_Jack’s mouth gaped wide open and he walked over to where Lena used to be. “Where did she go? Where is she?”_

_Lex set the device down on a table. “Follow me. We need to go to the crypt.”_

After Kara was full of potstickers, they left the restaurant and tried to plan their next move.

“So, if we’re supposed to die today, what happens if we don’t?” Alex asks.

“I’d imagine they’d send another reaper after you.” Lena half considered trying to find Sam and asking her what to do, but she couldn’t put more of her friends in danger. Friends? Lena didn’t realize that she actually had friends until just then. Was Jack a friend, too? He hadn’t left her side since they had gotten to LuthorCorp.

“So, you being brought back to life is just slowing the process,” Kara muttered, looking down at her empty plate.

Lena bit the corner of her lip and reached across the table. “Hey, I came back for you.”

Kara stared at Lena’s hand and slowly brought her own hand up, ghosting her fingertips on top of Lena’s, as if she expected them to only feel air. When her hand touched warm flesh, a sob cracked through her chest. Alex slid out of the booth and dragged Jack with her to give the two of them some privacy. Lena nodded at her gratefully. They didn’t need to see whatever was about to happen and Lena certainly didn’t need an audience.

“I missed you so much,” Kara choked out, gripping Lena’s hand tightly.

“I missed you, too,” Lena replied. “I’m sorry I didn’t tell you who I was. It wasn’t that I didn’t trust you. I couldn’t. They would have sent me away.”

“I know,” Kara answered, now looking up directly into Lena’s eyes. “I think I kind of always knew, but it’s one of those things that you constantly second-guess, because who’d ever think that their best friend would come back from the dead?”

They both laughed lightly at the thought.

“I suppose it didn’t help that I didn’t have a very good cover story for my past or that I still ate all of the same things,” Lena chuckled.

Kara smiled. “Only Lena Luthor would order a kale salad with goat cheese and beets for lunch.”

Lena returned the smile. “You always did know me the best out of anyone.” Kara was really the only one who knew Lena at all, period. She didn’t have time to weed through all of these people in her life to find the trustworthy ones or the ones who would just use her for their own personal gain. Imagine; Lena Luthor, CEO, billionaire, having friends who liked her for _her_ , not for her money. The only thing that Kara used her for was sex, and that was something that Lena actually gave willingly.

"So, you're not a reaper anymore?" Kara asked.

Lena shook her head. "No, you can't be a reaper if you're alive." She threaded her fingers between Kara's, just feeling its warmth. It had been a long time since she felt someone else's skin.

“Why would you risk all of this for me? If I understand this correctly, if you would have just let me die, I could have become a reaper too, and then we’d still be able to see each other.”

Lena frowned as if the answer was so glaringly obvious. “But you’d be dead. So would your sister.”

Kara furrowed her brow and adjusted her glasses. Lena hated it when she did that, because Kara always made this pouty face that Lena thought was adorable, but she didn’t want to think that Kara was adorable. Lena Luthor didn’t think _anyone_ was adorable, damn it.

But there was Kara, frowning and pouting, as if someone took away her favorite toy – that toy being her agency – and it was Lena’s fault. Well, no, it was fate’s fault. Fate was the asshole. Lena sighed and slid out of the booth.

“We need to hide you somewhere. You can grab some things from your apartment, but after today, they’ll probably be after you and Alex.” _And me_ , Lena thought. She was in just as much danger as Kara, now, except she didn’t think that dying a second time would be a very favorable outcome. She started to walk down the street when Kara grabbed onto her arm. Surprised, she looked at Kara, who appeared like she could break down at any minute and just hugged Lena close to her body. Lena wrapped her arms around Kara’s back and squeezed. She let out a shuddering breath and inhaled Kara’s scent, remembering the last time she smelled it, where they were, what they were doing.

_“Fuck, Kara,” Lena hissed as strong hands gripped her thighs. Kara’s tongue had been ravishing her all night, making her come over and over again. She knew she would feel it the next day and she wouldn’t have it any other way. One thing that she could do without, though, were these fucking feelings that poured through her whenever Kara brought out another orgasm. She absolutely hated the fact that the only thing that she really wanted was for Kara to hold her while they fell asleep and to wake up next to her in the morning._

_The one thing that she wanted most was the one thing that couldn’t happen._

_After Lena’s final release, Kara climbed up and kissed Lena, leaving the taste of herself on her tongue. She could smell Kara’s shampoo and her natural scent, and if there was only one thing that she could smell for the rest of her (abnormally short) life, that would be it._

_That would be the last time she saw Kara before she completely ruined everything. Had she known, she would have kissed Kara a little more and breathed her in a little deeper._

“We should get going,” Lena whispered. Kara nodded and let go of Lena, walking toward Alex and Jack.

“Any idea where we should go?” Alex asked.

“I know someone who might be able to help us. If anyone could get us out of something like this, she could.”

They arrived at CatCo Worldwide Media and the group rode the elevator up to Cat’s level. Kara knocked on the door lightly before pushing her way through.

“Kiera, this is a surprise. I didn’t call for you, did I?”

“Um, no, Ms. Grant. I have a bit of a problem and was hoping you could help me.”

Cat Grant knew a lot of people and had a lot of connections. Surely, she could hide them in some yurt in Iceland, or a cabin deep in the hills of China. Kara explained their predicament to yet another person, in hopes that her boss could aid and abet a few fugitives.

“Unfortunately, my yurt is a timeshare and I wouldn’t be able to book it in time, but I may be able to help you with new passports. Let me make a few calls.”

“Thank you, Miss Grant. I don’t know what I can do to ever repay you.”

Cat waved her off. “Please. Consider this an early Christmas bonus.”

Lena quirked an eyebrow. Risking getting thrown in jail for procuring false identification, as well as having some angry reapers after her, seemed like a little more than a Christmas bonus, but she didn’t say anything. They decided to go pack their things, so Cat had her driver drop Jack off first, then Alex. At Kara’s apartment, Lena stepped out of the car and walked her friend to the front door.

“I’m sorry for getting you involved in all of this,” Lena said. “Now you’re in more danger and I didn’t even think th—“ She’s interrupted by lips pressing against her own. Her brain short-circuited, which was something that it most certainly _did not_ do, so she deepened the kiss until she was pushing Kara into the door of the building. Kara turned around and fumbled with her keys, trying feverishly to stick the key into the hole, but failing miserably, causing Lena to laugh.

“You’re distracting me!” Kara whined. She finally got the door open and they practically ran to the elevator. While they impatiently waited for the elevator to get to the lobby, every inch of Lena’s body felt like it was on fire. She knew that if they started down this path again, it would change everything and they really should talk about things, but when Kara had her strong hands gripping Lena’s hips like that, she couldn’t really think clearly, and dear god _,_ there are lips and _teeth_ on her neck.

They stumbled into Kara’s apartment, throwing their bags on the floor and frantically shedding their clothing. Kara led Lena to her bedroom, even though she was well aware where it is. They fell onto the bed together, limbs entwined and lips slotting together.

“I missed you so much,” Kara whispered, hovering above Lena and staring into her eyes. “I—there’s so many things that I want— _need_ —to tell you and I know that this isn’t the time nor the place, considering I’m on top of you and we’re about to do it, but I just wanted you to know that I never stopped thinking about you.”

Lena laughed at Kara’s use of ‘do it,’ and shook her head. “I missed you, too.” She leaned up and kissed Kara again, slipping her hands beneath the hem of the blonde’s shirt and feeling a puff of air being exhaled onto her neck. This felt familiar, having Kara pressed up against her, feeling her warm skin, hearing the gasps and moans whenever a sensitive place was touched. Lena was comfortable here. She nearly forgot that she was in deep shit with the reapers and that—

Kara’s phone vibrated, making them both jump off of each other. Kara answered it and Lena heard the one-sided conversation, most likely with Cat. When Kara hung up, she smiled at Lena.

“We have a place to run to,” she said. “Cat’s letting us take her private jet and we’re going to go to some island she apparently owns, so I’d better hurry and pack and then we need to get you to your apartment.” She shot up and grabbed a bag from her closet, tossing in random articles of clothing from her dresser. Lena sighed and tried to think about anything but naked Kara. The bad thing about having all of her memories back, was that she remembered _everything_ as if it had all just happened. Kara texted Alex and Lena texted Jack to instruct them to all meet at Lena’s apartment in a half hour. They took a cab there and as it pulled up, Lena took Kara up to her apartment. When she opened the door, she immediately felt hands pushing her back.

“What the _fuck_ , Lena?” the woman exclaimed

Lena squinted at the woman’s unfamiliar face. “Sam?”

“Yes, it’s fucking me. What were you thinking? Do you know how much shit you’re in? J’onn has everyone searching the entire city for you.” She took one look over at Kara. “I hope you know how much Lena’s risking for you.”

“You said you’d help me, Sam,” Lena said meekly.

“What do you think I’m doing,” Sam replied. “I’m supposed to be out looking for you, but I knew you’d come back here sooner or later. How the hell did you get your old body back, anyhow?”

“It’s a long story,” Lena said while packing up some clothing. When it was apparent that her answer wasn’t sufficient, she sighed. “My brother helped me.”

“Your brother,” Sam repeated incredulously. “Lex Luthor?”

“Yes, Sam, that is his name.”

“I can’t believe you would go to that xenophobic megalomaniac for help! After everything he’s done.”

Lena threw the shirt she was holding down and her eyes shot up with rage. “I didn’t really have a choice.”

Sam shrugged. “You always have a choice.”

“Not one I could live with,” Lena said, noting the irony of what she just said. Kara stood off to the side, quietly, wrapping her arms around herself. “If I came back to life, I wouldn’t be a reaper anymore and I wouldn’t have death at my fingertips. It was the only thing I could think of.”

“Maybe you should just let us go,” she said, looking at the floor. Complete your kill, or your reap, or whatever. Sam could still do it, right? If we die like we’re supposed to, balance would be restored and maybe they’ll be lenient.”

Oh, Kara. Ever the optimist. It was something that Lena loved about her, because she sure as hell didn’t have an optimistic bone in her body. But, she wasn’t about to let Kara and Alex die, not on her watch.

“There’s no reasoning with these people, Kara. They’re ruled by a strict code and if their rules aren’t followed, you don’t get a second chance.”

“Okay, but there has to be _something_ that we can do. We can’t run forever,” Kara said with pleading eyes. Lena hadn’t really thought that far ahead. She just wanted to make sure that Kara and Alex were safe somewhere and it didn’t matter what happened to her afterwards.

“Hey, Earth to Lena,” Sam said, snapping her fingers in front of her face. Lena pushed the hand away and frowned. She was about to say something snarky, but luckily for Sam, a knock at the door interrupted her. Kara opened the door and let Alex and Jack inside. They were carrying bags filled with their belongings and looking incredibly ragged. Lena felt guilty, because none of them had asked for this, but she made the decision for them when she decided to not go through with the reap.

Cat’s driver waited outside of the building while the rest of them finished packing and preparing for their flight. While Lena finished gathering her toiletries, Sam stood in the doorway to the bathroom and watched.

“So, have you two had sex yet? I’m guessing the agreement is moot now that the two of you finally admitted to yourselves that you want to be more than friends.”

Lena didn’t look up and set her toothbrush inside of her bag. “We haven’t exactly had a lot of time for anything other than panicking and running.”

Sam smirked. “Seriously? Nothing? Not even a kiss? Kara just found out that her best friend and former bed buddy is alive again and you got nothing? That’s harsh.”

Lena finally looked up and slapped a hand across Sam’s mouth. “Will you keep your voice down?” She huffed and lowered her hand. “Fine, we started something at her apartment, but we got… interrupted.”

Sam’s mouth dropped and she clapped her hands together loudly. “I knew it! I fucking knew you two wouldn’t be able to keep your hands off of each other. Just, like, don’t wait too long to tell her how you feel this time, all right? Granted, I’m sure she knows by now, considering the lengths you’re going for her.”

Lena rolled her eyes and pushed her way through the doorway and zipped up her suitcase. She questioned how she, a genius, surrounded herself with so many idiots.

“Is everyone ready?” Lena asked. Everyone else nodded and picked up their bags, heading out the door to the apartment. There was a quietness that settled on the group and when they piled into the car, Sam stayed back in front of the building.

Lena stood in front of the open car door and looked at her friend. “Sam? What are you doing?”

“I’m not coming, Lena. I’ll throw them off your scent.”

Lena shook her head and walked up to Sam. “No, I’m not leaving you.” Lena Luthor could count the number of friends she had on one hand—half of a hand—and she wasn’t about to let Sam stay behind. She grabbed her by the hand and dragged her to the car, pushing her through the door.

“What—what are you doing? I don’t even have my passport!”

“We’re flying in a private jet and not using regular airports. You don’t need it,” Lena said, climbing into the car after Sam. The car took them to Cat’s private hangar and everyone unloaded their luggage and followed their pilot to the plane. Kara’s eyes widened at the size of it, but Lena didn’t bat an eye. Her private jet was bigger. Obviously.

Alex, Sam, and Jack all took seats near the front of the plane while Lena and Kara sat near the back. Lena knew that she and Kara still needed to talk and she dreaded it, because it dealt with _feelings_. How did you even start a conversation like the one they needed to have? _Hey, so, now that I’ve come back to life, I think it’s time to talk about how I was in love with you while we were supposed to be friends with benefits and those feelings haven’t exactly disappeared. So, how’ve you been? How’s the family? Weather’s nice._ Lena leaned back in her seat and blew out a shaky breath of air.

“Are you okay?” Kara asked her, knowing that nothing about their situation was okay, but wanting to comfort her.

“Yeah, I’m fine. It’s just—I don’t know. It’s kind of strange being alive again, having to remember to breathe and eat. It’s overwhelming.”

Kara nodded thoughtfully. “And that’s all that’s bothering you?” Lena chuckled. Kara was interviewing her, prodding her for information, and normally she hated it when people pried, this was _Kara_. She told Kara everything.

“No, that’s not all,” Lena admitted, mindlessly rotating the glass of alcohol on her tray. She swallowed thickly, knowing that what she was about to say would open a giant can of worms and she would have to deal with the fallout. She had to determine whether or not she would be able to survive a lifetime without Kara if she didn’t feel the same way, and her lonely existence would remain as such, but at least Kara would be alive and safe if they got out of this.

She chewed on the corner of her lip, willing herself to tell Kara. When Kara noticed this, she gently placed a hand on Lena’s arm and smiled.

“You don’t have to tell me if you don’t want to, but you know you can tell me anything, right? Nothing’s changed just because you died and pretended to be someone else while grim reaping National City and then came back to life,” Kara said with a grin that completely disarmed Lena. She wasn’t playing fair.

Lena sighed. It was now or never. Honestly, Lena preferred never, and in any normal circumstance, she would have avoided exposing her feelings and showing any emotion whatsoever, but she’d already dragging Kara and Alex into a situation that neither one of them asked for, so she felt like she owed Kara _something_ , even if it was something became more out of reach with time.

“Do you remember the last conversation we had?” Lena asked, wringing her fingers.

Kara thought for a second, but smiled. “Of course I do. You kind of disappeared on me after that.”

Lena scoffed. “How could I not? I was embarrassed and felt like an idiot. It was never supposed to happen and I was mad at myself for allowing it to.”

Kara looked at her sympathetically. “Lena, feelings aren’t things that you can control, like your company. They just happen sometimes. I would know.”

Finally looking up at Kara, Lena wasn’t sure if she heard correctly, or if she was hearing what she wanted to hear.

“You know, that agreement that we made was really stupid,” Kara continued with a chuckle. “But it was too late and we couldn’t take it back.”

“What are you saying, Kara?”

“I’m saying that I, maybe, possibly, felt the same way.” Now it was Kara’s turn to be shy and Lena felt a mixture of relief and frustration – frustration, because she’d spent time agonizing over the fact that she had feelings for someone that weren’t reciprocated when Kara felt the same way the entire time. She went to the lengths of wiping her memories of Kara after becoming a reaper, because she didn’t want to remember.

“We’re here,” Jack called out from the front of the plane, interrupting their discussion.

“We’ll talk about this later,” Lena said sharply as she made her way to the other side of the plane, staring out one of the windows as they descended. Kara sighed and unbuckled her seatbelt, walking toward the front and standing next to Alex.

“You good?” her sister asked.

“Could be better,” Kara mumbled.

“Give her time. She’s been through a lot – you both have. The two of you are getting a second chance. Make the most of it.” Kara smiled and hugged her sister. Lena watched them out of the corner of her eye and didn’t notice Sam sneak up behind her.

“How’d it go?”

Lena jumped and nearly punched Sam in the face. “God, Sam, don’t do that. And it went fine.”

“Is that why you’re pouting?”

“I’m not pouting,” Lena pouted. She huffed and rolled her eyes. “Kara told me she had feelings for me before I died.”

Sam raised an eyebrow. “I don’t see the problem. Isn’t that what you wanted?”

“No! Yes? I don’t know! She let me think I was alone in feeling something. She’s the one who broke things off, because of some stupid verbal agreement that we had. I thought I lost her and I died alone.”

Sam placed a comforting hand on Lena’s shoulder. “She was probably just scared. You know people do stupid things when they’re in love.”

Lena scoffed. “It’s not love.” Sam gave her a look. “It’s not!” Sam continued looking at her until Lena couldn’t handle it anymore and walked away, finding Jack nearby.

“How’re the lovebirds?”

Lena punched him in the arm and walked back to the back of the plane, away from the idiots who couldn’t keep their noses out of her business. Maybe it was a mistake involving so many people. She was probably better off alone, without friends, without Kara. When the plane landed, she grabbed her luggage and climbed down the stairs that set up at the rear door. She hurried across the tarmac, ignoring the calls of her name from the others. When she got to the front of the airport, she caught the first taxi she could find and just told him to drive. It didn’t matter where.

The taxi driver pulled out of the airport and drove, as instructed. Lena name dropped Cat Grant and the driver immediately nodded and told her he knew where to go. They arrived at a large resort on the coast and the driver stopped the car and helped Lena with her luggage. She thanked the driver and gave him a generous tip before walking through the door held open for her by the security guard.

She walked up to the check-in area and handed over her passport that was given to her. The woman looked up at her and smiles.

“Okay, one room with a king and a view of the ocean. Oh, you’re a personal guest of Ms. Grant. We’ll see that you’re all set up, Ms… Mercer.” The woman handed her a keycard and smiled, gesturing toward the private elevator that she would need to take up to the top floor. Lena thanked her and grabbed her luggage before heading that way.

As she stood in the elevator, playing back her entire life and afterlife in her head, Lena wondered what she could have done differently – not getting involved with Kara would be the first thing. Not getting involved with Kara the second time would be the next thing. Lena’s exhausted, so she threw her bags on the floor, took a quick shower, and flopped right onto the soft bed, letting sleep take over.

She wasn’t not sure how long she’d been asleep, but she heard her door open and grabbed the first thing she could find to throw at the intruder. Kara jumped at the sight of a panicked Lena and dropped her bag.

“Lena! Sorry, I didn’t know you were in here. Wait, are you going to throw a Bible at me?” Lena looked at the thick book in her hand and shoved it back into the drawer.

“What are you doing here, Kara?”

Kara blinked a few times. “Um, this is the room I was given.” She looked at Lena and then at the _one bed_ in the room. “I’ll-I’ll go take care of it.” She turned to leave the room and Lena rolled her eyes.

“Kara, it’s fine. We’re adults, we can share a bed. We probably shouldn’t bring too much attention to ourselves, anyway.” She could totally sleep next to Kara without feeling the urge to jump her. Kara rounded the edge of the bed to the opposite side and set her things down, sitting down nervously.

“Are you hungry?” Kara asked. It wasn’t until then that Lena realized she hadn’t eaten all day, sticking strictly to her liquid diet.

“I guess I could eat,” she replied. Kara walked over to the desk and flipped through the room service menu.

“Pizza?” she grinned widely.

Lena shook her head and laughed. “Sure.”

By the time the pizza arrived, Lena had fallen asleep and Kara opened the door, taking the two pizza boxes from the delivery person and paying them. She set them down on the desk and roused Lena from her sleep.

“Hey, Lena, dinner’s here.”

Lena grunted and stretched across the bed. When she opened her eyes, she saw Kara staring at her and smiling.

“What?”

Kara shrugged. “Nothing. I just missed seeing you like this, all sleepy and groggy.”

Lena huffed and sat up, accepting a plate with a couple slices of pizza from Kara. Realizing just how ravenous she was, she inhaled both slices in no time.

Kara slapped another couple of slices onto her own plate and sat on the edge of the bed. “Lena, I know we still need to talk things out, but I just wanted to say that I’m sorry for not telling you how I felt.”

Lena sighed and put her plate down. Okay, they were doing this now.

“I was just—I don’t have a good reason for any of it, to be honest. In my mind, I thought that by breaking off any romantic connection that we had, we would go back to being best friends, but it obviously doesn’t work that way. And I regretted it every day, because you died without knowing how I felt. You died thinking you weren’t loved. I tried moving on with Mike and he was okay, I guess, if you ignore his misogyny and his need to control everything in both of our lives, but he wasn't you. I don't think anyone could have replaced you.”

Lena stared at Kara while she got everything off of her chest. “Are you finished?”

Kara snapped her mouth shut and nodded.

Lena placed her plate on the nightstand next to the bed and tucked a leg underneath her other leg. “Kara, first off, you’re an idiot.” Kara was about to protest, but Lena held up a hand, which stopped her from saying anything further. “Secondly, I am, too. Instead of taking my licks and accepting the fact that we were still friends, whether or not we slept together, I ran. It wasn’t the best reaction, I’ll admit, and you’ve had to live through the past two years with that guilt, thinking you had chased me away when it was me who left.”

Kara nibbled on her crust and nodded thoughtfully. She wiped her hands off on a napkin and put her plate on top of the pizza boxes, walking to Lena’s side of the bed and standing in front of her. “Then I guess we agree that we’re both idiots. Are you still mad?”

Lena sighed and shook her head. If anyone knew how short life was, Lena did, so being upset about something that happened years ago was useless. It took her a few moments to realize that Kara was holding her hands and looking down at her with those stupid blue eyes that made her lose every word that was at the tip of her tongue. Before she knew it, Kara was leaning in and kissing her gently. Lena’s eyes fluttered shut and she tried to concentrate on every body part that Kara was touching.

She scooted back on the bed and let Kara climb up, never detaching their lips. Kara slotted herself between Lena’s legs and purposefully bucked her hips forward into Lena’s core, knowing it would drive her wild. She gasped and her fingers gripped onto Kara’s back.

Kara broke their kiss and leaned her forehead on Lena’s, trying to catch her breath. “I, uh, didn’t think this through. I could really use a shower.”

Lena laughed and patted Kara on the butt. “Go shower. I’ll still be here.”

Kara grinned widely and nearly tripped over her own feet while trying to get to her suitcase. Lena chuckled and lay back down on the bed while she waited for Kara to shower. She didn’t really know how to feel, but whatever it was she was feeling felt good.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I took some liberties with the Dead Like Me mythos and what happens when a grim reaper doesn't take a soul, because, otherwise, this story would be very short. Usually, what would happen is the person's soul would wither and die if it's not taken by a reaper at their specified time, or if it's not taken and they die shortly after, the soul will be trapped in the body. I chose the route that I did, so that Lena and Kara could have a second chance at living happily ever after without both of them being dead.
> 
> Should have another chapter or two to go. Thanks for sticking with this story.
> 
> Come find me on tumblr @bearpantaloons.


	5. Chapter 5

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I've been seeing those [War and Peas comics](https://warandpeas.com/tag/grim-reaper/) from a few years ago and now I want to write a separate grim reaper fic where Kara is a reaper and is supposed to take Lena, but keeps finding excuses not to, or she keeps getting interrupted.
> 
> Is this my brand? Grim reaper AUs?
> 
> Anyway, thanks for reading this little fic. I did my best. Come find me on tumblr @bearpantaloons

After Kara finished showering and brushing her teeth, she walked out of the bedroom with a towel wrapped around her body. She figured there wasn’t much use in getting dressed. Lena was sitting with her back against the headboard and her laptop on her lap, typing away – always working, even when she didn’t have a company to run.

“What are you doing?” Kara asked, climbing onto the bed and looking at the screen.

“I’m looking into the history and mythos of grim reapers to see if they have any weaknesses or if there’s any way to get around being reaped. I should probably know all of this by now, but I have a feeling J’onn kept a lot of information from us when we got trained.”

Kara hummed and slowly closed the laptop.

“Hey!” Lena started to protest, but it didn’t last long when she saw the look on Kara’s face as she leaned in to kiss her. It took her by surprise, but by the time the fogginess in her brain lifted, she was deepening the kiss and tugging Kara’s bottom lip between her teeth.

“Are you sure you want to do this?” Kara asked, staring straight into her eyes. Lena knew that she wanted Kara, that much was obvious, but this would be the first time they’d have sex after knowing how the other felt. It would be different this time. It would mean something.

Lena nodded and closed this distance between them, putting every ounce of love and sacrifice into this one kiss, silently promising Kara that she would do whatever it took to get them out of this mess, even if it meant her dying again.

They shed their clothing hastily, throwing the articles across the room haphazardly. Kara leaned her back into the mattress and kissed her reverently, trailing her lips up her jawline, until she got to the sensitive spot behind her ear, knowing it would get a reaction. Lena’s hips jolted up into nothing and she let out a soft whine. She had forgotten how well Kara knew her body, knew what made her tick, what made her moan.

Fingers traced themselves down her ribcage and gripped her thighs, pulling them around Kara’s lower back as she slotted herself between Lena’s legs. Kara hovered her mouth just above Lena’s breasts and let her breath puff gently against the pale skin.

“Still okay?” Kara asked breathlessly. She gazed up at Lena, who merely nodded. “I need to hear you say it, Lena.”

“It’s—I’m okay, Kara. Keep going.”

Kara’s lips descended onto the hardened nipple as she sucked it into her mouth, causing Lena’s hips to buck upwards into her. Hands threaded through her golden hair and pulled Kara closer. A hungry mouth moved lower, down Lena’s stomach and across her hips. Lena held her breath as Kara continued her trek further down her body until she reached the top of her mound. She’s seen Lena naked many times before, but this time feels different. Lena came back for her, she risked everything to save her. Lena _loved_ her.

Lena felt Kara’s hesitation and scratched her scalp gently. “Kara, are you okay?”

“I—yeah, I’m fine. Just remembering.”

“Hey, come up here,” Lena said, pulling Kara up to face her. “Relax, we’ve done this many times.”

“Yeah, but, this is different. We—we’re different.”

“Do you love me?” Lena blurted out. Shit. That was definitely not what she meant to say. She blamed the serotonin coursing through her brain after the almost-sex they just had.

Kara looked at her with wide eyes and trembling lips. Of course she did. _Of course_. All she had to do was say it. “I…“ God, why was this so hard? Just say it. She watched as Lena’s face fell when no words would come out of her mouth.

“I thought so,” Lena said, pulling away from Kara and standing up, looking around the room for her discarded clothes. Kara’s heart started to race and she knew she was about to lose Lena again if she didn’t act. She reached out and grabbed Lena’s wrist and kept her from walking away.

“Wait, Lena,” Kara said in a whisper. “Please.”

Lena sat down on the edge of the bed, not completely facing Kara. She didn’t want her to see the hurt on her face, because Lena Luthor’s feelings did _not_ get hurt. If anything, she was the one who did the hurting. Whatever, if Kara didn’t love her, so be it. She was alive again. She could find someone new. How hard could it be?

Kara took a deep breath. “I’m sorry, I don’t know why this is so hard to say out loud. I _know_ how I feel about you, but actually putting it into words is hard.”

Lena scoffed. “And you think it was easy for me? My employees called me the Ice Queen, Kara. I didn’t show emotions and I put all of my feelings into little boxes and packed them away. Telling you how I felt about you was the single-most difficult thing I had ever done and you made me think I was alone with those feelings. And now you’re doing it again.”

“But I do love you!” Kara said, finally, squeezing Lena’s hands. “I love you, and I’m sorry you felt alone, and that you died feeling alone. I’ve never forgiven myself for that. Please let me make it up to you. I’ll do anything.”

“Anything?” Lena said, turning to face Kara and smirking.

“Um, yes?”

Lena turned around suddenly, pinning Kara to the bed, lowing her head so that her lips brushed against Kara’s ear. “You’re going to let me top you.”

Kara swallowed thickly and nodded without saying a word. Lena smiled at how easily it was to convince Kara. Out of all of the times they’d had sex, Kara was always on top. Normally, Lena didn’t care, but this time, she wanted to be the one who was in control, since she hadn’t been in control of anything in her life, or death, other than her company. And now even that was gone. Lena swung a leg over Kara’s lap until she was straddling her and rotating her hips forward. Kara let out a soft grunt as she brought her hands up to grip Lena’s waist, resisting the urge to flip them over.

 Lena grazed the soft skin of Kara’s stomach and leaned forward, kissing Kara’s jaw lightly, feeling the woman’s breaths get shorter.

“Do you want me to touch you?” she asked.

“Yes. Lena, please,” Kara replied urgently. Her hands wrapped around Lena’s back and her fingers dug into her skin. Lena kissed her then, letting the warmth of their bodies flow between one another, filling them with the heat of passion. Settling in between Kara’s legs, Lena tortuously kissed every inch of skin that she could see, making Kara writhe beneath her.

“Lena,” Kara whispered, running her hand through Lena’s dark hair.

“Tell me,” Lena replied between kisses.

“Tell you what?” Kara asked between gasps as Lena kissed her sensitive skin on the insides of her thighs.

“Tell me,” Lena repeated with more purpose.

“I-I love you,” Kara answered. Those must have been the magic words, because a low growl came from Lena as she lowered her head between Kara’s legs and licked up her already wet slit. Kara cried out and bucked her hips up, gripping the sheets next to her. Lena worked her until she was a writhing, squirming mess, panting and begging Lena to let her come. The feeling was intoxicating, as was the taste. If she had her way, Lena’s diet wouldn’t consist of anything else.

Lena finally granted Kara’s wish with one last thrust of her fingers and sucked Kara’s clit until she screamed loud enough to shake the walls of their room. As Kara came down, Lena scooted up far enough onto the bed to kiss Kara’s cheek and lean her head on her shoulder.

“Golly,” Kara said, completely out of breath.

Lena laughed and rolled her eyes. “You still don’t swear, huh?”

“There are perfectly good alternatives to swearing, thank you very much.” Kara wrapped her arm around Lena’s stomach and pulled her closer.

“Well, I will take that as a challenge. I solemnly swear to make you swear in bed someday.”

“Good luck,” Kara laughed. Before long, they fell asleep in each other’s arms and didn’t wake until there was a loud knock on their door the next morning.

“Kara, wake up!” Alex’s voice rang from the other side of the door. Kara grunted and yawned, rolling out of bed and trying to locate her clothes, so she didn’t traumatize her sister by answering the door completely naked. When she was decent enough, she cracked the door open and looked through it.

“Kara, get Lena and meet us in the lobby.” Alex looked stressed and was running a hand through her hair.

“Is something wrong?” Kara asked.

“Just—just get Lena and come downstairs,” Alex replied and started walking back down the hall. Kara furrowed her brow and closed the door. She climbed back into bed and kissed Lena’s shoulder.

“Hey, we need to get up,” she said, tracing her fingers down Lena’s bare stomach. Lena mumbled something intelligible and turned her body away from Kara. Kara laughed and kissed all over Lena’s shoulders and back until she woke up and turned back around to face her again.

“Why do we need to get up?” Lena asked while cuddling up closer to Kara.

“I don’t know. Alex came by the room and said we needed to meet her in the lobby. It sounded serious.”

“Everything is serious to your sister,” Lena quipped. She hadn’t known Alex for very long, but she hadn’t seen her smile once the entire time they’d been together. Granted, she couldn’t exactly blame her, since she was supposed to die and was no on the run from, well, everyone. She reluctantly got out of bed and found some clean clothes. Kara joined her in the bathroom while they brushed their teeth. They walked down to the elevators together, hand in hand, and it felt nice. Lena almost forgot that she had doomed them all to an eternity of hiding from death.

When they reached the lobby, Alex, Sam, and Jack were already there and Kara blinked when she saw another person standing with them.

“Miss Grant? What are you doing here?”

“Well, this _is_ my island. We need to have a discussion about what to do about you and your reaper friends. J’onn is on his way.”

Kara’s mouth gaped wide open. “How—how did you—“

“Honestly, Kiera, did you not know? J’onn and I go way back, like, 1800s back. I’ve been a reaper for two centuries and I’m on the board.”

“There’s a reaper board?” Jack asked.

“Oh, of course there is. There’s a board for everything,” Cat replied with a flick of her wrist. “Now, I need all of you to wait here and don’t do anything stupid. The rest of the board should be arriving soon and we’ll discuss how to proceed.”

“How to proceed?” Lena scoffed. “I broke the cardinal rule of reaping. There’s only one way this could go.” She wasn’t about to let some board of stuffy old former-reapers decide her fate. She’d had enough of that while she was alive and CEO of L-Corp. She grabbed Kara’s hand and started heading toward the revolving door at the front of the lobby when J’onn and a few other people stood in their way.

“Going somewhere, ladies?” J’onn asked, arms crossed. Lena frowned and squeezed Kara’s hand tighter. J’onn ushered them back into the lobby and they all piled into one of the boardrooms in the hotel. Everyone sat down in one of the cushy chairs, but Lena frowned the entire time like a petulant child. This was a waste of time. What was the point? She knew what they were going to say – either complete her reap, or doom all of them to a lifetime of washing dirty underwear, probably while on fire.

Along with J’onn sat Cat, Veronica Sinclair, Morgan Edge, and—no, it couldn’t be. What kind of a sick fucking joke was this?

“Dad?” Lena gasped.

“Hello, Lena,” Lionel Luthor said, smiling slightly. “You look well.” Lena stood up suddenly, pushing her chair back. She couldn’t breathe. Kara stood up slowly and placed a hand on Lena’s back to try and comfort her, but nothing about this entire situation was comforting.

“How dare you use my father against me?” Lena spat.

Veronica rolled her eyes. “Please, your father has been on the board for the past decade. Sit down.”

Lena shook her head in disbelief. After all this time, why hadn’t she seen her father? Why hadn’t he reached out to her? She remembered how alone she felt after she died, how she had to navigate the afterlife by herself until she met Sam.

“Why?” Lena said through gritted teeth. “Why didn’t you come find me?”

“Sweetheart, I’m not allowed to meddle in anything if I’m on the board. I did watch you from afar, though. You’ve been doing well.”

Lena scoffed. Yeah, she was doing well, living in a tiny two-bedroom apartment with her only friend, eating take-out for dinner every day, simultaneously fucking up three people’s lives. She was doing great.

“Are we finished with this little family reunion? I have places to be,” Morgan Edge sighed, clearly bored out of his mind.

“Oh, can it, Morgan,” Cat fired back, fully knowing that he hated being called by his first name.

“So, we have a few options. Option number one is you become a reaper again and you reap Ms. Danvers willingly, along with her sister, restore balance to the universe. Option number two is the same as the first, except you find someone else to reap instead. However, you will never be able to touch either one of the Danvers sisters again, otherwise their souls will be taken. Option three, you live out your last days as a mortal, along with the Danvers sisters, but you will never be together after you pass. You will be separated and never see each other again. You also won’t know when your death will come – it could be in the next sixty years, or it could be in the next six days.”

“How about option four where you just leave us the fuck alone?” Lena argued. She’d heard enough. All her life, and even in her afterlife, people tried to dictate the way she did things. If it wasn’t the board members trying to strong arm her into doing something shady or underhanded, it was a newly-born reaper trying to cut her a deal to bring them back to life, which she ultimately had no control over. She was sick and tired of it. She just wanted to be left alone to have mind-blowing sex with Kara and for them to discover and rediscover their feelings in peace.

“There may be one more option,” Cat said. The other board members raised their eyebrows in unison. “J’onn, we’ve always talked about having a live liaison, have we not?”

J’onn nodded. “Yes, but that doesn’t fix the ratio of souls harvested to reaps being uneven. We are still short two souls.”

“Besides, are you sure we can trust her? She’s already tried to run once, and we all know she’s good at running,” Veronica noted. Veronica fucking Sinclair, the bane of Lena’s existence. They’d gone to boarding school together and may have shared a bed once or twice, but they were too much alike-both emotionally unavailable, both using their cold demeanor as a defense mechanism. Everything could be wagered on, according to Veronica, even their lives. Years ago, Veronica bet Lena that she could outlive her and after one unfortunate night at a club and something involving a cattle prod, Lena won that bet.

“How about we make a little bet,” Lena drawled, knowing Veronica wouldn’t be able to resist.

Veronica stared at Lena and then looked at the other board members. “Fine. What’s the wager?”

“You give me twenty-four hours to figure out how to restore balance without anyone dying. If I win, all of you leave the three of us alone to live our lives however we want. If I lose, I’ll go back to being a reaper and find another soul to take, or you can throw me into reaper jail, or whatever.”

“You have twenty-four hours and then we’ll be back,” Veronica agreed, standing up. She left the room, along with the rest of the board. Lionel lingered for a bit and nodded at Lena.

“I hope you know what you’re doing.”

“Of course I do,” Lena said. She actually had no clue what she was going to do, but at least she bought them some time. “It’s, it’s good to see you, Dad.”

“You too, sweetheart. I’m glad you’ve found someone,” he said, looking over toward Kara. “Is she worth all of this trouble?”

“Yeah,” Lena replied, looking at Kara, as well. She was playing rock, paper, scissors with Jack and laughing when she kept trying to use Spock and making Jack angry. “She is.”

“Good. Then I hope you figure this all out.” Lionel kissed Lena on the forehead and left the boardroom. The rest of them left the board room together and gathered in the lobby.

“Okay, so what’s the plan?” Sam asked. Everyone had the same look of panic on their faces, except Lena. She had quickly come to her own conclusion and knew what she would need to do, but she wanted to make the most of her time with Kara. God, what was happening to her? For once in her life, she wasn’t running and it was all Kara’s fault. Kara and her dumb smile and her stupid glasses and her disgustingly hot body and her unwavering optimism. It was horrible. Lena wasn’t used to facing the music and she hated it already.

“Where are we going?” Kara asked as she was dragged down the sidewalk by a very determined-looking Lena. “Shouldn’t we stay with the others?” she tries again.

Lena and Kara left the hotel without a word; Lena ignored the calls of her name by Sam and Jack and continued walking. She just needed to get out of there and she didn’t want to walk around aimlessly by herself, so she brought Kara with her. They stopped in front of an antique shop and Lena went inside with Kara following closely behind, her forehead wrinkled with worry.   

The shop was quiet, which was what Lena needed. She browsed around and looked at the old knickknacks, picked up an old clock and wound the key in the back. And elderly woman walked up to greet them with a warm smile.

“Is there anything in particular you ladies are looking for? I may be able to help,” the woman said.

“Just browsing,” Lena said, trying to paste her very best fake smile across her face. The older woman smiles back and nods.

“Well, let me know. I have all sorts of things that you could give your girlfriend there.”

Lena stiffened. She’d never called Kara her girlfriend before. Hell, they weren’t even girlfriends. She wasn’t sure what they were, but it wasn’t that. Girlfriend usually meant commitment, talking to one another. It usually meant a future.

Walking down the aisles, Lena caught Kara looking at a little wooden dog and the shopkeeper hovering nearby.

“That’s hand-carved,” the older woman said with a glint in her eye. “Made from black walnut.”

“We’ll take it,” Lena said without another word. Kara looked at her questioningly, but Lena was already standing at the cash register, paying the woman. As they walked out of the store, Kara clutched the wooden dog in her hands and smiled down at it.

“Thank you,” she murmured.

Lena shrugged. “It was nothing.”

“We never did get to have any pets growing up,” Kara admitted. “Eliza and Jeremiah were always busy with work and they didn’t trust Alex and me to take care of anything, which was probably a good assessment at the time.”

“Lex and I didn’t have any pets, either. Mother didn’t see the point. Besides, I was shipped off to boarding school, so I wouldn’t have had any time to spend with any pets, anyway.” There were so many things that Lena despised her mother for - mainly every part of her childhood, but also the fact that her lack of affection shaped the way Lena treated others. She didn’t know how to function like a normal human being with emotions. And being in a relationship? Good luck. Kara deserved better. Lena had no idea what she was thinking.

“I guess we should get back,” Lena said, walking them back toward the hotel.

“Do we have a plan yet?” Kara asked, looking at Lena with obsessively hopeful eyes.

“I might. I’ll need to talk to the board first,” Lena answered vaguely.

That night, everyone sat around the bar and tossed back drink after drink and ordered everything off of the menu. If they were about to face punishment and eternal damnation, they might as well go out with a bang. Jack and Sam joked around, teasing each other and the rest of the group. Sam divulged old stories about her and Lena when they first became reapers and Jack told them about all of his house parties that he would throw. Alex remained relatively silent, as did Lena, and Kara listened intently and laughed along with Sam.

Eventually, Lena slipped away and walked out to the patio outside of the bar, gripping her glass of bourbon like a vice. She heard the door open behind her and Jack walked up beside her.

“Everything okay?” Jack asked.

Lena laughed humorlessly, taking a sip of her drink. “Never better.”

Jack looked out into the skyline and took a sip of his beer, trying to find comforting words to say, but to be honest, he wasn’t very good at it, either.

“What’s your plan for tomorrow?”

“I’m going to let them take me,” Lena said matter-of-factly. “If I go back with them, that should count as a life that I should have taken. I’ll just need to find one more somewhere.”

“Let it be me,” Jack offered.

Lena looks at him. “Why?”

Jack shrugged. “Lex gave me my life back, but to be honest, there’s nothing here for me anymore. I had my company, but that was it. I didn’t have a girlfriend, or a wife. I didn’t even have a pet turtle. I’ve had more fun and more friends being a reaper than I ever had when I was alive. Being alive is lonely.”

It never occurred to her how similar she and Jack were, probably because she never bothered to ask him about himself. She couldn’t ever ask someone to make the same sacrifice she was making, but Jack had offered.

“Are you certain this is what you want?” Lena asked.

Jack grinned. “Hey, I’ll get to tease you for an eternity. That itself is worth it.”

That was that. Lena and Jack would go before the board and their souls would be taken – again. Kara and Alex would be safe, they would trick death, and the universe would have its balance. They walked back into the bar to join the others and Lena felt a little lighter. She sat down next to Kara, who smiled her same bright smile at her and Lena mirrored the smile, for once. Maybe things would end up being okay – not necessarily for her, but she was used to the disappointment and the sacrifice. If her mother taught her anything, it would be that Luthors didn’t take any shit from anybody, even death. Lena would do this on her own goddamn terms.

When the group had enough to drink, they stumbled back to their rooms. Alex took Sam into their room, Jack splintered off into his own, leaving Kara and Lena to head back to theirs. Kara was a little tipsy and weaving a little when she walked, so Lena stood close to her in case she needed a hand. They got to the room and Lena took out her keycard and unlocked the door. She pushed it open slowly and turned on the light, but she was quickly pushed up against the wall and felt Kara’s lips on hers.

Lena was worried that Kara wasn’t in full control of her inhibitions and the alcohol was confusing things, but this may be the last time that she could have Kara this way. She allowed the clumsy hands to fumble with the hem of her shirt and wrap behind her to grip her ass, lifting her off of the floor. Kara carried her over to the bed and laid her down gently, looking down at her, revering her. Lena reached up and stroked Kara’s cheek, a gesture she wasn’t used to.

“Are you here with me?” Lena asked, trying to figure out if Kara would remember in the morning.

“I’m here,” Kara answered. “Always.”

This time felt different, even different from the night before when they’d told each other they loved one another. It was slow, unhurried, like it was their last day on earth and, quite frankly, it probably was Lena’s – at least her last day as Lena Luthor. She’d come to terms with it. Kara probably wouldn’t understand and may never forgive her, but it was something she needed to do. She needed to save Kara. All her life, she ran away from her problems. She ran away from Kara, but not this time. For once, she wasn’t doing something for her own self-preservation. She was doing this _for_ Kara.

All of that washed away from Lena’s mind when she felt Kara’s lips on her stomach. She sat up and lifted her shirt off of her body completely, throwing it off to the side of the room. She let Kara have her way with her, because, holy fuck, Kara was definitely good in bed and Lena needed this. Being a solitary reaper for so long made her forget what it felt like to connect with someone and she honestly wouldn’t want to be anywhere else.

Kara’s hands were suddenly everywhere, pulling off articles of clothing, gripping at body parts, teeth nipping and sucking at soft skin, leaving behind marks that would definitely still be there in the morning. Lena surrendered, she gave herself to Kara, and the blonde didn’t relent until Lena fell apart beneath her over and over again.

Lena felt that wetness around her eyes again and she swiped away with her fingers discreetly, but not discreetly enough.

“Lena? What’s wrong?” Kara asked, leaning on one of her hands and looking down at her with concern. She had sobered up significantly and was staring at her pointedly.

“It’s nothing,” Lena replied, chuckling to herself, “I promise.”

“Luthors don’t cry, so it has to be something,” Kara said, still concerned. Her brow furrowed as she tried to search Lena’s eyes for any answers. She tucked a stray strand of hair behind Lena’s ear – a gesture that normally would have felt intimate, but instead felt like it was going to break Lena in half.

“I, I don’t want to lose you. I just got you back,” Lena said finally, tugging Kara closer to her. This display of vulnerability was usually reserved for the comfort of her isolated bedroom, in the dark, while she clutched a glass full of scotch or bourbon, but she didn’t have any privacy anymore. If Kara told anyone about it, Lena would probably have to kill her. And then kill whoever Kara told for good measure.

“You’re not going to lose me,” Kara assured her. She rubbed Lena’s back and kissed the crown of her head. “Come on, let’s get ready for bed. We should get a good night’s rest.”

Lena begrudgingly unfolded herself from the warmth of Kara and the bed to change and get ready. They brushed their teeth and climbed back into bed. Kara quickly fell asleep and once Lena heard the soft snores coming from her, she slowly got out of bed and put a hoodie and some shoes on. She winced when the heavy door shut a little too loudly and hoped it didn’t wake Kara.

She walked down the hall and stopped in front of Jack’s room. Knocking three times, she waited and listened for any noise coming from inside. The door swung open and a disheveled Jack greeted her with a grunt.

“Do you know what time it is?” He muttered, rubbing his sleepy eyes.

“Get dressed and come with me,” Lena said curtly. “I’ll wait out here.”

Jack huffed and closed the door. Ten minutes later, he came back out, fully dressed and still grumpy.

Lena rolled her eyes. “You look like I kicked your puppy. Will you cheer up if I buy you a coffee?”

“Soy latte macchiato?” Jack pouted.

“Fine.” No coffee shops were going to be open that early. Sucker.

They get to the lobby and Lena pulls out her phone to call someone. Jack hears her instruct someone to meet them there, but doesn’t hear anything else. They sit down on the hard furniture in the lobby and watch businessmen and women walk in and out of the hotel.

Jack couldn’t take the silence and not knowing why they were there, so he sat up in his chair and asked. “What’s going on, Lena?”

“I told J’onn to come take us in.”

“Take us—you mean you’re going to just leave? You’re not going to say goodbye to Sam? To Kara?”

Lena shrugged. Goodbyes were hard enough. Saying goodbye to someone you loved was impossible. It would be better this way – at least, that’s what Lena said to convince herself that she was doing the right thing. Jack looked at her as if he wanted to say something to talk her out of this, but she shot a look back at him that made him back off.

Soon after, J’onn, Lionel, and Cat walked through the doors and Lena stood up and walked over to greet them.

“Pleasantries later, let’s go.” She tried to rush them back out the door, but she heard a voice behind her that sounded more broken than she was.

“Lena?”

Shit. Lena’s shoulders sagged and she hung her head into her chest.

“What’s going on? Where are you going?” Kara walked up to the group and had her usual confused puppy look on her face. Lena hated how much that face affected her, so she did the only thing she could think of and ran out of the hotel without saying anything.

Jack followed after Lena and tried to stop her from walking away, but she jerked her arm out of his grasp. Cat appeared in front of both of them and rolled her eyes. She snapped her fingers and both Lena and Jack were back in the hotel lobby.

“You’ve got to be kidding me,” Lena groaned as she turned and was immediately faced with a very angry Kara. Sam and Alex stood a few feet behind her.

“You were just going to run away?” She had her hands on her hips and the crinkle in the middle of her forehead. “You told me you loved me.”

Jack and J’onn collectively gaped, while Lionel smiled to himself. Cat pulled the other men away to give them some privacy.

Lena sighed. “I do. I did this _because_ I have those… feelings.” The words tripped over her tongue. She wasn’t used to this, to admitting how she felt. Her mother taught her to remain stoic and unwavering, so this was all new territory. Kara now had her arms crossed in front of her body, a defensive position. It appeared she was waiting for an explanation from Lena, but she really didn’t have one. Did Kara really have to look at her like that? “Look, Kara, I didn’t want to make a big deal out of it. If I just left in the middle of the night, we wouldn’t have to do… this.” She said, gesturing between the both of them.

“Are you fucking kidding me?”

Lena straightened up and raised her eyebrows at Kara swearing. She was hoping the first time she heard Kara utter a curse word would be in bed, but really, hearing it there was just as hot.

Kara continued, “I know you’re not one for sentimentality or being a considerate human being, but if you claim to love someone, you don’t run away and go get soul taken away.”

 Lena opened her mouth to speak, but Kara wasn’t finished. “And, furthermore, leaving after sex is even ruder, especially when you tearfully told me you didn’t want to lose me. I mean, you wouldn’t lose me, but you’re making it _really_ hard to hold onto you, and—“

Lena interrupted her by kissing her hard. It took Kara’s brain a few seconds to catch up with her body and she wrapped her arms around Lena’s waist, but once she realized what Lena was doing, she pushed her away.

“Hey! You can’t just make everything better by interrupting me mid-rant and kissing m—“

Lena kissed her again and Kara must have given up, because she was grasping onto Lena for dear life. J’onn walked up to them and cleared his throat. Lena glared at him as they broke apart. Veronica and Morgan must have just gotten there to collect them.

“Lena, we need to go,” J’onn said.

“But—wait—what’s going to happen?” Kara asked, holding onto Lena’s hand.

J’onn gave her a sympathetic look. “Lena and Jack agreed to give up their souls in exchange for you and your sister’s.”

Kara almost looked betrayed and she looked between Jack and Lena. She took a step back and clenched her fists at her sides.

“Will they get to have the same identities as before? Will we still get to see them?” Alex asked.

“That’s not how it works,” Veronica said with a cocky smirk. “They’ve already been reapers once, but since it didn’t work, they’ll either be relocated or they’ll be given another job.”

“Isn’t there something you can do?” Kara asked desperately. “Cat?”

“Sorry, this one is out of my hands,” Cat apologized. Kara looked at Alex and Sam, trying to silently plead for one of them to come up with something. She felt her heart trying to beat out of her chest. When she looked at Lena, she looked resigned and had already accepted her fate. In a flash, Kara jumps behind the bar and finds a steak knife, holding it up to her neck.

“Kara!” Alex yelled. “Put that down.”

“If I die, only one of you will need to be taken.”

Jack shrugged. “Well, I already said there’s nothing left for me here, so I guess it’ll be me.”

“Don’t be stupid, Kara,” Lena said. “If you die, we still won’t be together. They’re going to relocate me regardless.”

Veronica sighed and looked completely bored. “I don’t care who dies, but can we hurry it up? I have a nail appointment soon.”

Kara slammed the knife onto the bar counter, her lip quivering.

“Actually, there may be one thing,” J’onn said, crossing the lobby. “I’ve been wanting to retire for quite some time. It would be killing two birds with one stone with Lena takes over for me.”

“She can’t do that,” Morgan argued. “She’s alive.”

“No, this is perfect, actually,” Cat added. “She will be the liaison we’d been looking for, the bridge between the afterlife and the mortal world.” Lena reminded herself to send both J’onn and Cat an edible arrangement. “Actually, I’ve been wanting to take an extended vacation myself. Perhaps Lena can take over for myself and Jack can take over for J’onn.”

“And I’d love the opportunity to work with my daughter,” Lionel added.

“This is ridiculous. You can’t just appoint whomever you want as your replacements,” Veronica glared.

Cat took a step closer to Veronica and even though she was shorter than the woman, she held herself in a way that made her look much larger. “Actually, I can do whatever I want. I’m Catherine Grant.” And with that, she departed the hotel.

With a huff, Veronica left shortly after Cat and Morgan shot everyone a displeased look before leaving behind her.

Lionel walked forward and put his hands on Lena’s shoulders. “I know I wasn’t the best father to you,” he sighed. “Your mother was cold, because I made her that way. I didn’t give her any reason to trust me when I was alive and you were the product of that mistrust. So, I’m sorry. But I hope you know that I do love you and I only wanted what was best for you.”

“I know, thank you.” She hugged her father, something she’d been wanting to do for years. After they were done being a sappy Hallmark movie, they joined the rest. Everyone let out a sigh of relief and Kara hugged her sister. Lena smiled slightly at the sight and redirected her attention toward the man who’d saved her life.

“Why didn’t you just offer to do this from the start?” Lena asked.

J’onn smirked. “Because I love seeing Veronica and Morgan squirm, don’t you?”

Lena laughed and nodded in agreement. “Definitely. I don’t know how I can repay you and Ms. Grant. And you, Dad.”

J’onn waved her off. “Don’t worry about it. We’ve been looking for a reason to get out for a while. Now, go talk to your girl.” He shooed her away toward Kara, who was smiling and talking to Alex and Sam. Kara looked up at met Lena’s eyes, pushing her way through the others to meet her in the middle.

“Hi,” she said, grinning widely. Any wider and she would probably unhinge her jaw.

“Hey,” Lena answered, ducking her head.

They were finally free to do whatever they wanted and now Lena had no idea what she wanted. She only knew _who_ she wanted. Kara took another step forward and grabbed both of Lena’s hands in her own.

“So, what now?”

“Anything we want, I guess,” Lena answered, a smile on her face.

“Are you going to stop running when things get hard?” Kara teased. If it had been anyone else, Lena probably would have slapped that smug look off her face, but she just laughed and nodded. They kissed, not caring that everyone else could see them, but were interrupted by someone crashing through the doors of the lobby.

“I… do not… appreciate… being left behind,” Winn said completely out of breath. Lena grimaced and everyone looked apologetically at him. He stood up straight and smiled enthusiastically. “So, what did I miss?”


End file.
